Living my worst nightmare

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Living my worst nightmare

Postby Pascal35 on May 25th, 2015, 3:15 pm

If you read my previous posts you would see that there is a strange pain when i grip between my left index finger and thumb.
Over the last days i feel this side weaker. I am doing personal tests and the left index finger can hold much less weight than the right...
Anyway this could have been a normal difference since I'm right handed. Unfortunately over the past 3 hours i am experiencing a terrible fatigue on this left finger and its very difficult to move it upwards.
Im so scared and panicked. Yes i did some exercises but i did both sides the same amount of exercises. It doesn't make sense that i can't almost lift up my left index finger...
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby Pascal35 on May 25th, 2015, 8:41 pm

Its still like that... I am so scared at the moment. I don't what could have caused that
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby Kev74 on May 26th, 2015, 12:18 am

Could it be carpal tunnel syndrome? Just a thought.
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby Pascal35 on May 26th, 2015, 12:43 am

Im right handed - it doesn't make sense. I woke up slightly better. I will go for an EMG to a good Neurologist. Lets see
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby Pascal35 on May 26th, 2015, 2:09 pm

Just to inform everyone i went to have a detailed left arm EMG which came back totally clean.
Nothing pathological.
Doctor said that probably the reaction of my finger was due to extra strength tests and exercises. The muscle is very small and thats why it reacted.
They normally find similar cases in tennis players.
Regarding the pain it is probably tendonitis and he prescribed voltaren pills.
My fear was out of control. I felt that everything I'm scared off was starting...
Anyway. Lets hope i will get over this fear very soon
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby German2 on May 26th, 2015, 3:14 pm

Hi Pascal,

we shared the same nightmare today...a doctor told me today my arms feels like completely atrophied. I have aditionally high muscle tone since a while and today I thought ..it is over. I also had an EMG today, (just one muscle though), which was clean..My pain is strong...don't know what it is. The neuro also thinks some kind of tendonitis...I do not completely feel in the saftey zone today, but the "Desease" did not start today for me....Hope we sleep fine...
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby SecretAgentMan on May 26th, 2015, 6:57 pm

Most people do not realize the amount of power that they have in influencing the quality of their experience in life events. We can feed our illusions of fear and create our worst nightmares or we can ground ourselves such that we whether the greatest of storms no worse for the wear. There are methods for accomplishing this and it does take work and commitment, but it is possible to change your ways to be more resilient. There are tools and techniques to learn mental discipline. There are tools and techniques to overcome fears and phobias. Some are quite simple and easy. Others take more time, commitment, and dedication. It all depends on the person and how rooted that fear or belief is.

I will give an example. I have a 5 year old daughter who has always been somewhat afraid of bugs for some reason. She especially does not like bees, even though she has never been stung. She was in the garden with my wife one day and saw a bee, which really scared her. She went inside after this. Again, no stinging occurred. That night she had a nightmare that bees were attacking her. When she ran inside in her dream there were bees inside too. She woke up crying. Fear does this to people. It consumes them. She was so shaken by her nightmare that she was still thinking about it the next day when I picked her up after work. She told me almost first thing that she just could not get the bee dream out of her mind that day. When we got home I decided to try a visualization exercise that I had learned about in my hypnosis training. I am a certified hypnotist, but I don't practice professionally since I have a day job. It is more a hobby and interest of mine.

Anyway, I had her sit in a comfortable chair when we got home and we were distraction free. I simply had her close her eyes and visualize that she was going back into that scary dream she had the night before. The look on her face when I told her what I wanted her to do was pretty telling. She did not want to do this. I told her that I was going with her and that we would be in there together and she was willing to try it at this point. I even held her hand as I talked her through it. I told her that this was her dream and that she could do anything she wanted. I told her that we were going to take the bee's stingers away from them so that they couldn't hurt us or anyone. Her mood calmed down even more. I told her we could change their mean faces and make them smile. She began to smile. The next thing you know she was suggesting that we make them into clown bees and she was laughing. I let her run with it. We had a few more fun 5 year old things with the bees and I had her open her eyes. The dream that had disturbed her all day long was now something to laugh about. She told my wife all about it when she got home and wasn't disturbed at all.

That was a few months ago now and to this day she hasn't reacted the same way to bees. Even I am impressed at how quickly this fear seems to have dissipated. She's 5 years old and a lot more open and impressionable, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. The underlying ability to walk your perspective to a new angle though is just as real and effective for adults. We are much more stubborn and rooted in our beliefs. We explain away and justify our negativity as practicality. All this does is hold us back though. Most of the time we do such a good job at holding ourselves back that we don't realize we're doing it or we don't know how to undo what we have done. There are solutions and there is help though! You just need to pursue it.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby Nytviolet on June 12th, 2015, 12:46 am

Funny, as I was reading this, I was taking, "I bet he's testing that poor pinky finger non-stop, and what was a slight, normal difference in strength has now been exacerbated." It's amusing how an objective perspective can easily pinpoint the problem, but subjectively (when it's YOUR life on the line) it's so difficult to think rationally. I'm glad you're okay and have been exactly where you are (my left calf is thinner and weaker, and buzzes often, but I now believe it's just the way I'm made and I have a history of lumbar issues). Oh the days and nights I spent running up stairs and walking around the house on my toes, becoming hysterical if I flubbed a note when playing the piano or choked on a glass of water. Hoping that you're much calmer now and loving life once again!
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

Postby Pascal35 on July 12th, 2015, 2:29 am

Hi Nytviolet and sorry for the late response...
Its true yes. Our mind can play really hard games.
Even more funny i checked some of my posts in another board and i realized that i had the same issue in May 2014...Obviously this is the way i am made.
My left wrist and hand were probably always thinner and weaker. I could realize it from the watch when i was wearing it on the left and on the right.
Anyway. I am still checking quite often but my panic has gone.
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Re: Living my worst nightmare

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