so much fear

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so much fear

Postby German2 on October 14th, 2014, 9:06 am

Sorry to bother you all with a new question, but I am digging so deep down in the dirt today. Hope that expresses my feelings.
Would you thinkg after 15 month of twitching the conduction test of sensible and motoric nerves in my legs would show some signs of mnd?
My new neuro has done this examination today and said, it was fine. But due to my symptoms he is referring me to another specialist. He did not gave me a clinical or s.th. like that. He did not even wanted to see my hands. He said that the specialist would be doing this...The clinical was made a few weeks ago and ok. I feel like dying...on friday we have to move into a new house and on monday there is the appt. I feel like hiding behind a cupboard until that...
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Re: so much fear

Postby Xina535 on October 14th, 2014, 12:04 pm

What kind of specialist did he refer you to?
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Re: so much fear

Postby German2 on October 14th, 2014, 12:23 pm

it is a neuro muscle ambulance, which is specialized on inflammatory nerve issues, like PNP, Myasthenie, and more. Of course also MND...but it is not just a als ambulance but has a wider range. I had an appt. anyway there, but he did not now that but recommended me to go there..I know he has another patient, going there and is treated there regularly. I know this guy from a forum and he recommended me that ambulance, too, before the neuro did. Today I phoned with the ambulance and got an earlier appt. - next Monday. Otherwise I would have to wait until end of November...But that means, I have fallen immediately into panic mode...
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Re: so much fear

Postby Xina535 on October 14th, 2014, 1:35 pm

Ok and I understand the panic! Esp when you have a move on your hands, your stress level is very high so the amount of breathing room between staying sane and panicking is like null.

Do you know why he sent you there? For more testing or for a better treatment plan? Or both?

Don't forget that you are lucky in many ways....you are getting seen by top doctors, getting early appts so you don't have to wait so long and watch the clock tick tock and panic more, and they ruled out MND!
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Re: so much fear

Postby SecretAgentMan on October 14th, 2014, 6:55 pm

Just a suggestion... Have you considered addressing your mind's tendency toward fear rather than hoping it will just go away with each doctors visit or test? People always seem to think that one more EMG, one more specialist visit, will calm their fears and put their minds at ease, but it is never the case. The mind immediately jumps to the next uncertainty or the next symptom that pops up. What if they missed something? What if I wasn't far enough along and I've still got something sinister? Don't underestimate the mind's ability to F with you. Address your consciousness itself and deal with your tendency toward fear. There are tools and techniques available. There are books, websites, and even specialists you can see. I like the Albert Einstein quote "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." I have seen it validated time and time again. You will never rise above the fear so long as you stay in a fearful state of mind. No amount of reassurance will be enough. Your mind won't let you stay reassured because you are in a mode where it is constantly searching for things to be afraid of. Work on your consciousness. Work on your mind. FEAR can mean Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: so much fear

Postby buddyroxy on October 14th, 2014, 7:20 pm

I like your reply secret agent man, i think your right on, a good autor i have been reading is neville goddard, he suggest the same idea. It helps to know that you do have some control over your life.
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Re: so much fear

Postby SecretAgentMan on October 14th, 2014, 8:27 pm

buddyroxy wrote:I like your reply secret agent man, i think your right on, a good autor i have been reading is neville goddard, he suggest the same idea. It helps to know that you do have some control over your life.


Thanks buddyroxy. Unfortunately I learned this lesson the hard way like many here have. The most important thing though is that you learn it eventually. :)

We do have a great deal of control over our lives. Life is like a river and we are on a boat going down that river. Our attitude, intentions, and thoughts are the rudder. Perhaps it is our western culture, but so very little attention is given to our minds and our level of consciousness. It is no wonder we feel helpless against the river when the current is bearing down on us. By conditioning your mind toward fear and staying there you are essentially steering your rudder for the rapids. By learning mental discipline and working on your mind towards the positive you are steering your rudder where you truly want to be. Ignoring fear doesn't solve anything. It's about as effective as ignoring gravity. The forces at work in your mind still exist and still work the way they do whether you ignore them or not.

By learning new tools and techniques to process through your fears you take back control of your life. You are also much better equipped to deal with challenges that come down the road. Everything is easier when you learn the lay of the land. This also inspires confidence, positive self esteem, and peace of mind. Worth the investment of time, energy, and effort? That's up to each individual, but it was an easy sell to me once I realized what I was doing to myself.

I'm not familiar with Neville Goddard, but I will look him up. Thanks again.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: so much fear

Postby German2 on October 14th, 2014, 10:40 pm

@Xina: I did not ask why he sends me there. I think it is because of my ganglioside antibodies and the findings in hospital - double sided ulnar nerve syndrom. He thinks I need a third opinion..I know that his other patient also started with double sided ulnar nerve syndrom. And he ended up with Multifokal Motor Neuropathie. That is what my antibodies are also indicating. But as I am having slight sensitive issues, it could not be otherwise. MMN is without sensitive issues. Yes, MND was ruled out up to now. But it is a beast in my had. I cannot kill it. Not yet.

Thanks for the answers regarding my fear...I know that I have to work on this. But my counselor did not help. And I am seeing her just once in a month..She offered me no tool..I have to find the way by myself..if I would have or not a certain desease. But especially if I really have s.th. sinister.
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Re: so much fear

Postby SecretAgentMan on October 15th, 2014, 7:25 am

German2 wrote:Thanks for the answers regarding my fear...I know that I have to work on this. But my counselor did not help. And I am seeing her just once in a month..She offered me no tool..I have to find the way by myself..if I would have or not a certain desease. But especially if I really have s.th. sinister.


I hate to break it to you but mental discipline is not achieved through a once a month meeting with a counselor. Work and commitment are required on your part. Tools like meditation or hypnosis can be powerful allies but they don't do the work for you any more than a hammer does work for you. They are tools. It is up to you. Also fear is not something to be defeated. It is to be tamed. You cannot remove fear anymore than you can remove a limb. It is part of you. Learn to understand it and live in harmony with it. Putting it into perspective allows you to live a balanced and happy life.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: so much fear

Postby German2 on October 16th, 2014, 3:03 am

Dear SecretAgentMan,

I agree with you on the one hand. On the other there is the fact that I am loosing muscle since 2 years. Especially on hands so it is getting more and more painful to use them. I am not diagnosed with BFS and I know that there is s.th. going wrong. It might not be MND but s.th. else. I am diagnosed with double sided ulnar nerve syndrom. And know I start fighting to keep my legs strong. So this is what makes my anxious. Twitching is a minor problem to me, for it is not very much. Just a few times a day.
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Re: so much fear

Postby SecretAgentMan on October 16th, 2014, 8:16 am

Whether you have a cold or a deadly disease, your body is yours and thus responds to your state of being. I'm sure you've heard of the Placebo and Nocebo Affect phenomenon. Your mind is incredibly powerful and can help or hurt you depending on what you focus on. Our modern society downplays this influence of the mind though, almost as though it doesn't count or matter. I believe it does count though. It actually helps answer many questions. Why do some smokers get lung cancer and others can smoke like a chimney and live to 100. Why do happy people live longer healthier lives? Why do so many studies link stress to disease and illness? The correlation is pretty indicative of you emotional and mental state being intimately tied to your physical health.

Whether you have BFS or some other thing really doesn't matter. People have recovered from far worse by changing their attitudes and perspectives. I'm not saying everything is 100% mental but I am saying it is a very important yet overlooked factor. What is the worst that could happen if you if you start working on your attitude and perspective? You start thinking more positive? Oh darn! I asked myself the question, if I am not living and appreciating my life, what am I afraid of losing? You can do this. You can turn it around. All it takes is the decision to do so followed through with action. We're here to assist but nobody here can do it for you.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: so much fear

Postby German2 on October 16th, 2014, 11:17 am

..With what can I start to change my anxious mind? If there is anything you can recommend (a book, a website, a technique), what you would recommened. Or write me a pm?
Thanx!
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Re: so much fear

Postby buddyroxy on October 16th, 2014, 12:25 pm

With what can I start to change my anxious mind? If there is anything you can recommend (a book, a website, a technique), what you would recommened. Or write me a pm?
Thanx!


One thing that I am trying which I find easier than meditation at this point is re-visualizing your day. It is a technique taught in Neville Goddards book, Awakened Imagination. Basically throughout your day as often as you can visualize what you would have wanted to happen, for example if your hand is thinning think and FEEL to yourself "wow it is so nice that my hands look and feel healthy and strong" An important step to this is to FEEl it. do this throughout your day and especially at night time, do it for every aspect of your life which you want to improve.

hope this is easy for you to apply and gives you healing!
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Re: so much fear

Postby SecretAgentMan on October 16th, 2014, 7:49 pm

Before going into different tools and techniques I should probably provide a little background. Back in 2010 I realized I had an anxiety problem but I had no idea how to deal with it. I knew I couldn't keep doing what I was doing because things were just getting worse. I made an appointment with a hypnotherapist nearby to see if that would help. When I first arrived at my appointment we just talked for about an hour. She listened to my problems and my story and that in itself seemed helpful just to have somebody truly listen without just going through the motions or waiting for their turn to speak. After getting familiar with my background she had me recline in a comfortable chair in her office while she talked me through a breathing and relaxation exercise. Once in that calm relaxed state she went through a few positive affirmations and then brought me out of it. The actual hypnosis part of the appointment probably only lasted 20 minutes, if that. I felt great though. It was the most relaxed I had been in a long time.

I was unemployed at the time and didn't exactly have the money to go back to see this hypnotherapist on a regular basis though. So I decided to try and go mentally through the script she used as best as I could remember it while laying on my bed at home. This seemed to work to a degree, but it wasn't quite the same as having someone else facilitating the hypnosis session. I didn't learn until later that I was actually practicing what they call self-hypnosis. A few years later I learned about meditation and the positive benefits associated with regular practice. My first time doing a meditation I actually followed along with an mp3 I had downloaded as a sample. I was surprised at just how similar it was to the guided hypnosis sessions I had done. Around this time I had also explored hypnosis a little further and saw a new hypnotherapist since I had moved since the last time in 2010.

I began practicing meditation on a daily basis, usually just 10 to 15 minutes at night before before bed. This was my preferred method and my preferred time. There are many, many methods available to help you to work on yourself and your own state of mind/state of being. Meditation is one of the more common methods and there are many variations of it. There are structured methods that you can learn from organizations that teach and support it, like Transcendental Meditation (TM). The Department of Veteran Affairs is now offering TM in some of its hospitals for Veterans to help them overcome Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other mental health issues. The results have been very promising so far according to the 2011 report that was available on their website.

There is a reason that hypnosis and meditation are similar. There is also a reason these techniques are so successful in treating anxiety and other habit driven behaviors or disorders. I was so positively inspired with my experiences with hypnosis and meditation that I decided I wanted to learn more about them. I had an opportunity to take a class and get certified to become a hypnotist and I jumped on the opportunity. In my class I learned a great deal about the mind and brain. First of all, when you relax your mind, your brainwaves will slow down in correlation with the relaxation. We can measure brainwaves with an EEG. They broke the different frequency ranges that our brainwaves move through into categories. The 4 main categories are Beta, Alpha, Theta, and Delta. There is a Gamma too, but these are usually associated with states of extreme concentration and usually don't show up except for in Lucid Dreamers or highly experienced mediators.

We spend most of our conscious waking day in the Beta brainwave state, which is the 15 to 30 Hz range. This is where our thoughts are constantly moving from one to the next to the next. When we physically and mentally relax we can slow our brainwave activity into the Alpha state which is the 9 to 14 Hz range. The Alpha state is where most hypnosis, meditation, and creative visualization takes place. We go into the Alpha state naturally all the time without ever realizing it. This is where we go when we drive our car in autopilot, when we take a shower, when we read a book and forget we are looking at words on a page and immerse our minds in the story. This is also where we go when we watch a movie and tune out all the noise going on in the room around us. Alpha is very common and again, this is all that is required for a state of meditation or hypnosis. The Theta range is the 4 to 8 Hz range and this is where deep hypnosis, deep meditation, and deep relaxation take place. We drift into Theta sometimes when we get into a deep daydream and we certainly pass through this state every night when we go to sleep and every morning when we wake up. Theta is difficult to maintain without drifting to sleep and going into Delta. This is where mental discipline and practiced meditation come in handy. It is worthwhile to practice these techniques and get good at them. The Delta state is the 1 to 3 Hz range and this is where we sleep. Believe it or not, Delta is considered a state of hypnosis. This is why listening to positive audio recordings while you sleep can positively influence your behavior. The subconscious mind is still active and accessible in Delta.

There are also different levels of conscious awareness. The part of the mind that is accessible to our awareness is just the tip of a very deep and vast iceberg. This is usually referred to as the conscious mind. Then there is the subconscious mind. This is the part of our mind that strongly influences are habits, behaviors, and thought patterns, but does so without entering our awareness. One example might be that as a child a person might have been scared by a traumatic incident with a dog. Ever since that experience their heart automatically kicks in to overdrive and they get a panicked adrenalin rush every time they are startled by a dog barking. This automatic response that kicks in is part of a learned pattern or behavior that is ingrained in their subconscious mind. It influences their behavior, thought patterns (fear), and even causes an autonomic nervous system response (elevated heart rate and adrenalin rush) just through a learned behavior. There is also an unconscious mind aspect to our psyche but that isn't relevant to this discussion.

The great thing about tools like meditation and hypnosis is that practicing them allows you to go into an Alpha state where your conscious mind actually has easier access to the subconscious mind. There are several methods through which this interaction takes place. For one, in a state of meditation you can slow the freight train of thoughts down to a speed where you can almost observe the process that is taking place. As a thought enters your mind you can recognize that this is a new thought and really observe how it makes you feel and you can analyze why it makes you feel the way it does. You can almost see the process that your subconscious is running through in the background to trigger these responses that are normally automatic and unnoticed. In this state of reflection you can then decide how you want the process to unfold in the future. Using our example of the traumatic childhood dog incident. You can play through a scenario in your mind where you really think about an encounter with a dog. Recognize the fear response and then shift it into something more positive. It is your mind. Imagine the fierce dog's teeth turning into nubs and the claws disappearing. Turn the dog into a puppy if you want. Stay with the visual as long as you want and use our own inner monologue to set positive affirmations. Try to avoid negative words. Like if I say not to think about bananas, you can't help but think about bananas. Instead, focus on words that paint a picture in your mind of what you want to achieve. Inner peace, acceptance of self, forgiveness of self, etc. If you say, I won't be afraid, you are using the word afraid. What picture does that paint in your mind (afraid)? Instead use positive words like courage.

This is not a one and done type of exercise. It will take commitment on your part to change your frame of mind, and change your perspective in life. Tools help you do this, but don't do it for you. At first you may feel like you are forcing it, but it does get easier. Go easy on yourself because nobody can expect themselves to change thought patterns and behaviors overnight. It will be a gradual process but I guarantee if you keep at it you will notice a difference. Going into the Alpha state on a regular basis will allow you to change those subconscious programs that are feeding you fear, fear, fear all the time. It's doing that because that is what you have focused on. You just didn't realize that you were programming yourself to focus on it automatically. All you have to do is shift your focus on a continual basis. Shifting that focus in the Alpha state will speed up and reinforce that behavior change too.

I'm sorry this is so long but I want you to understand the science behind the mind over matter. There is much, much more to it, but these are the core basics. With all that being said, I would recommend seeing a hypnotherapist at least once just to try it out. It is a common myth that some people cannot be hypnotized. Remember all it takes is a brainwave state. The other necessary ingredient is trust. If you don't trust yourself or the hypnotherapist, you won't allow yourself to get into the necessary state of mind. There is nothing wrong with that, but it can be frustrating to not get results with somebody and wonder why. Just know that you will need to trust the person you use and you will need to trust yourself. Don't worry, you can't turn somebody into a robot in that state and you won't do anything you wouldn't normally do. You are very aware of who you are. It is like when you go into the Alpha state in the shower. You are just extremely internally focused, relaxed, and your resistance to things like what other people think of you drop. Have you ever resolved to do something while you were thinking in the shower and then later that day you lose the will power to go through with it? That's because your guard is back up later in the day. That is why people will quack like a duck on stage in the alpha state. When you're relaxed and at ease you just don't care as much. Don't worry about that though because you are always in control of yourself and your actions.

Hypnosis and meditation both utilize the Alpha state and help enhance your own practiced mental discipline. Hypnosis only differs in that it is usually fascinated by a hypnotherapist who is interacting with you and asking questions, etc. In meditation it can be guided or self-guided, but it is not interactive in that the facilitator is not asking questions or actively working with you to accomplish a goal. That is really the main difference and there is a lot of cross over. There are different techniques for both. These are not the only two tools. You can utilize the Alpha state by doing relaxing activities combined with creative visualization exercises. Nature walks, jogging, or even Yoga are some examples. I prefer hypnosis or meditation because they are more goal oriented. The goal orientation is probably the most important part. Like I said, we go into these brainwave states all the time, but very few ever utilize the brainwave states to capitalize on them for the benefits they offer.

So, where do you go next? Like I said, a guided session with a hypnotherapist is probably the best first step so that you get familiar with the process. They usually aren't that expensive and you won't need to keep going. Just use the opportunity to learn the ropes and see what it feels like. Once you learn the lay of the land you can explore more on your own. Perhaps go to a meditation meetup group. There are many, many styles and variations. There are guided hypnosis and meditations on youtube even. Those are OK, but I can't oversell the value of having an interactive person with you when you first begin. When you are exploring some people's voices may not relax you or the music may not be right. Everybody is different. Find what works for you and practice, practice, practice. Remember this is going to take a commitment to change on your part. Just doing a 10 minute exercise every day won't be enough. When you get into that state of reflection you can take some of that with you back to your daily life.

One example is that I used to get upset with people that would cut me off. It would infuriate me. In my meditations I would watch this reaction I had take place and tell myself that I wanted to make a more positive choice the next time it happened. When somebody cut me off I suddenly realized I had a choice. I didn't automatically shift into anger mode. Don't get me wrong, I was still angry, but this time was different because I was almost watching it happen in slow motion and I realized in that moment that I could choose to let it go and forgive the person. Each time it happened it got easier and easier. I had to meditate on it a few times though and the process took time. I kept at it though. That's what I want to convey here.

You don't need to be a victim to your fear. It is just subconscious programming and once you learn to navigate your own thoughts and your own mind, you will realize that you too have a choice. These tools will help you make that choice and you can be at peace. This will not give you control over what is happening in your body, but you know what? I will bet you a steak dinner that indirectly it will influence what is happening. All those studies that link stress to disease and illness also indicate that happiness yields health. It is the shift I saw take place in myself and many, many others. Most importantly you can reclaim your life and live for a positive purpose.

I am sorry this is so terribly long. I hope you are able to read it all and make sense of it. I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: so much fear

Postby German2 on October 20th, 2014, 11:10 am

Dear SecretAgent,

thank you very much for sharing that with me and others who are interested. I appreciate your great knowledge and I did not know these backgrounds.

I've read your post in length now. Sorry that it lasted a while. As we moved to a new home....I totally believe of what you said. And I do much believe in the power of mind. I have many personal examples of that (mostly bad ones. Persons in my family who are programmed to get sick and die).

I have already experience with kind of hypnosis when I was a child. That were positive. I was "programmed" to achieve certain goals and it worked.

I had a session a few month ago. The only thing I could say is, that I was relaxed. That was the purpose..What meditation is concerned I practiced autogenic training in my youth...I tried to restart that but was too nervous to practice.

I am now looking for the right person to help me out of the circle. But this can take some time....
Like many others, I was caught by my health problems in a situation of very bad circumstances. And I did not see a way out. And then my story began and lasts since 2 years now...

I will contact you again with questions, when it comes to a few steps forward..

Thank you!!
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