Very worried newcomer with possible foot atrophy

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Very worried newcomer with possible foot atrophy

Postby malisa on February 4th, 2014, 5:22 am

Hi everyone

I've been on this forum a lot and decided it is time to register since my worries are not going away but are getting worse :-(. I would like to share my story with you fellow-sufferers (excuse my english, it is not my native language), at east you will understand.

My fasciculations started about 10 months ago. Unfortunately my grandmother died of ALS so I knew about this disease. And, stupid me, I googled 'fasciculations' and immediately fear struck. I'm a bit of an hypochondriac. Since then, with ups and downs, I have experienced periods of serious fear, in which I was convinced I had ALS. I have seen a neuro in a local hospital but she is not specialised enough, she didn't even mention BFS existed. I now have an EMG scheduled but I'm thinking of canceling it. It heightens my anxiety level and no matter what the outcome is, it probably won;t do any good. If it's bad, I will worry more. If it is good, I probably won't stop worrying. Fasciculations are a true hell for a hypochondriac: all you can actually do is just wait to see whether you develop atrophy or weakness.

The last months the fasciculations (which have been all-over) have increased. I have them in my tongue also sometimes non-stop for hours. Which then puts me in another cycle of fear. Also, the twitching seems to focus lately on my left leg and especially left foot, nearly non-stop small fasciculations. What is A LOT worse, I've notices that I can't lift the toes of my left foot as high as those on the right foot. Now, I am not sure whether this has always been the case, I never tested this before (of course..., why would I). I\'ve noticed this first a few months ago. The good thing is it hasn;t gotten much worse. And also, the newest finding of the week, the shoes on my left foot are all a bit looser than on my right foot. This is really clear, in all of my shoes. This REALLY worries me because it was always the other way around, as my left foot is nearly half a shoe size larger than my right. Also, my balance when standing on the left foot is remarkably worse than on my right foot. I don't notice any serious weakness however (yet...). I do long distance running, but lately not too often, so I can;t really tell if my performance has declined. Has anyone here noticed atrophy of the foot?

So this is all on my mind for the most part of the day. The fasciculations are 'acceptable' in the long run and I can see how anxiety can increase them. But this thing with my foot freaks me out. I don't see how anxiety can cause my foot to actually schrink. It's driving me nuts and it is really affecting my life. I am stressed and grumpy. My husband is a rationalist. He says, you're a 36 year old female, ALS is too rare, you don;t have it, let it go. Sounds logical, but I just can;t do it. I'll just have to wait and see what's going to happen to my foot. Maybe if in 6 months there is nog progression and can find some relief.

Thanks for listening and good luck to you all!

Malisa
malisa
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Joined: February 1st, 2014, 12:54 pm

Very worried newcomer with possible foot atrophy

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