Just checkin' in for a second...

This forum is for posting your personal experiences with BFS: symptoms, doctor visits, fears, etc.

Please use this forum to post give and recieve encoragement and reassurance from sharing the trials and triumphs you have faced.

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Just checkin' in for a second...

Postby RandyR on May 23rd, 2013, 8:35 pm

Wow, I know it's been over a year since I have logged in. I had to force myself to do so, sad, but this place just gives me the creeps, but it did play a big factor in my "recovery". I put recovery in quotes because we do not recover from bfs imo, only the anxiety that brought us here. BFS is no disease, but anxiety is a killer...


I was told by a lady on here to check in from time to time to post how I'm doing, surviving, etc...

So with that being said, the last year or so has been great for the most part. I still twitch and tremor and all of that good stuff, but my anxiety has been a lot lower. I even got weaned off of the klonopin and put on gabapentin about 5 months ago. I was kind of afraid that I would'nt be able to cope without it, but I can't even tell the difference "most" days(still have some anxiety fueled days, just not about fear over health issues). The klonopin saved my life, but after a year it made me super lazy and I gained all of the weight back I had lost. The gaba was supposed to help with the pain that I get mostly in my feet, but I havent been able to tell the difference yet as far as that goes.

I had a message on fb asking me if I still get scared, and I wanted to say no..never. But that would have been a lie. Today I had to take my mother in to have an EMG, she fell at work and dislocated her shoulder and has a lot of severe nerve damage in ger arm. And of course my mom told the neauro doing the test that I had had several done on me. Next thing you know he's talking about fasiculations and asking me minor questions. I did not like some of his answers and politley told him that I was not interested in discussing it any longer. But no lie, up until today I had not even thought about it. Twitches have become my new normal, if it was not for my sons pointing them out I would not even notice them either for the most part...lol


I threw a whole year of my life away, I went into a bad depression and had more fear in me than I could have ever imagined having at one time. I could not think, eat, sleep, or carry on with a normal life no matter how hard I I tried. I spent hours on here, reading, talking, and arguing with people. Some real, some made up... :lol: I hate that I fell so far that I could not even get up on my own. The hole was deep, with no ladder in sight at the time. Finally I just got fed up with myself. I looked in the mirror and thought your still alive, strong, and I found enough will power to start climbing out of the BFS black hole. It was not easy though. I had to have help in the form of medicine, and therapy. I finally started listeninig to my doctors, instead of google. And believe it or not, doing so HELPS! It did for me anyways...

The best advise that I ever got here came from all the veterns, Get out of here! Walk away, don't eat, sleep, and breath this place. Make a few posts asking questions, read the stickies, take your meds, and listen to your doctors. Make a few friends here as well. Try to be good to the old timers, and listen to them. There right..

This year I went back to school and got my GED, and I start college in the fall. I'm Already approved for financial aid and signed up.

Oh and one more thing, get outside and walk/run! It's the best anxiety med in the world...

God Bless.... :D
PAX ARMIS ACQUIRITUR


But they who wait upon the lord shall
renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as Eagles; they shall run, and not be
weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.(ISAIAH 40:31)
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Re: Just checkin' in for a second...

Postby virginiasteve on May 23rd, 2013, 9:00 pm

Nice post and God Bless to you!!
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Re: Just checkin' in for a second...

Postby Yuliasir on May 23rd, 2013, 10:37 pm

God bless you Randy and please do not forget that starting a colledge studies would be a stressful time too so be careful and do not quit your treatment program if any.
Best wishes
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Re: Just checkin' in for a second...

Postby johnnythejet on May 24th, 2013, 1:41 pm

Good to see you bounce back, Randy. Thanks for stopping in for the update.
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Re: Just checkin' in for a second...

Postby sibelius on May 24th, 2013, 9:00 pm

You hit the nail on the head. I have had BFS for 2.5 years and absolutely feel I wasted a year of my life due to the anxiety. The sad part is many of us have had requisite neurological tests, get clean results and still refuse to believe the findings - at least that first year. I also agree that hanging out at medical forums is the absolute worst thing you can do. The worst part of the internet is that if you are a bit of a hypochondriac you can very easily screw yourself over. My life changed for the worse the first time I typed "muscle twitching" in google. Now as a BFS veteran I know better and hopefully can help reassure others.
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Re: Just checkin' in for a second...

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