Where's the switch to turn it off???

This forum is for posting your personal experiences with BFS: symptoms, doctor visits, fears, etc.

Please use this forum to post give and recieve encoragement and reassurance from sharing the trials and triumphs you have faced.

Moderators: JohnV, Arron, garym

Where's the switch to turn it off???

Postby Ray on September 19th, 2003, 5:25 pm

It all started for me close to a year ago. I first went to a doctor when I noticed my left wrist and right elbow were sore, I had already diagnosed myself with Arthritis being the Hypochondriac that I am. Doc checked me out, said nope to the Arthritis but because I'm a regular visitor of his (in his mind he already labeled me a Hypo) he gave me a prescription for Arthritis pills to keep me happy and sent me on my way. This frustrated me to no end, the pain was real but he just dismissed me. Looking for answers I sought another doc, typical of a hypo. This one said it's just repetive use and over exertion of these joints due to my cabinet making in the workshop as a hobby. I bought into it and thought I would give it some time to clear even though it was many weeks since I nearly completed the project.

While this was going on the pressure at work started to escalate. I've always strived to do the best I can do, you could say I was a perfectionist because I demand this of myself I also demanded it of others but never said anything to anyone as I didn't want to rock the boat. You could say this was the start of my downward spiral! I noticed twitches periodically throughout my body. I would lay there in bed and just twitch which just interrupted my sleeping pattern. I would wake up tired and go and face another day at the office with all the stressors it had to offer. It was close to christmas, the time of year I've always enjoyed and I wasn't having fun. I would be at work in a daze, lost in thought, constant pressure of the job unrelenting. The twitching evermore present now and in my quest to self diagnose myself again I typed in the word " Twitch " on Google, BIGGEST mistake of my life! There before me was every possible disease imaginable. LOL. I searched and searched hours on end, day after day, twitching intensified throughout my body and there it was staring right in front of my face, RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Up until that point I never realized how much my legs twitched, it's like I willed it into my legs by putting two and two together. This was early in the new year and ever since then my calves have twitched none stop, it's not like it comes and goes, it's always present, 24/7, driving me absolutely bonkers! I spent time crying wishing it would go away. My brother said I was depressed which nerved me, up until a few months earlier I was always solid in my mind, very fit, would run roughly 50 Kilometers in a week. Just the word depression made me feel sick. Off I go to the doc, he gives me Ativan to calm my nerves and reassurance that it's nothing he would also schedule an appointment with the Neurologist to give me some peace of mind. When it comes to taking any medication I'll only take it if it's absolutey necessary, well after many sleepless nights and constant worry I decided I'd try the Ativan. Sure, it made me drowsey which help to ease my mind and induce sleep but I wanted off these pills and swore I could get through this on my own. I spent many a day just staring at my legs, you could see the legs literally twitching, here, there, back and forth, this thing had control of my mind.

The day came for my EMG with the Neurologist, my mind was in another world and before I knew it I was out of the office. I was diagnosed with BFS but I didn't ask any questions because I was so spaced out, that's how much control this thing had on me. I was still lost for explanations always asking why, why, why! I lost it, my wife and I went to the doc and he immediately sent me to the Emergency ward to speak to the crisis nurse. It was very disconcerting, three chairs, padded walls a security camera monitoring the room, has it come to this I thought but in hind sight it was the best thing I did. The crisis nurse spoke to the onsite psychiatrist and they concluded I had GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). They prescribed Celexa an SRRI not for depression but for the anxiety, low dosage and referred me to a psychologist for some CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). Immediately started with the Celexa which did not agree with me at all. I experienced Insomnia, ringing in the ears, weight gain,...... While taking this I also was seeing the psychologist which really helped to put my mind at rest. I had five sessions with him when we decided that I was fit to go it alone and he encouraged me to get off the Celexa as my body twitching had reduced greatly but my calf twitching was ever present. I weaned myself off the SRRI and for a month was doing quite well when things slowly took a turn for the worst again. Went back to the doc and he prescribed Effexor and Clonazepam. This SRRI worked out well, it managed my Anxiety which in turn reduced the twitching, stayed on it all summer, never slept so well in my life, the calves still twitching but it seemed bearable, things were so great I decided to wean myself off the SRRI again.

It's been a month now, Anxiety symptoms starting to return again. It feels like the lower limbs are starting to burn, I'm starting to itch, it feels like there is something crawling in my legs, exercise makes it worse. Is it all in my mind, hmmmmmm, tried hypnosis, LOL which didn't work, I'm a wreck. Perhaps I should go back on Effexor, just the thought of being on it for the rest of my life concerns me but what is the alternative?

Anyways, that's my story, sorry it's so long but I had to document it to see if that would help, time will tell I guess.

P.s. My answer to all this is " stress ". I was under so much of it that it manifested in me to the point where I believe my body is producing some sort of chemical which is preventing my recovery!

Any feed back would be greatly appreciated and I wish peace to each and every one of you! By the way, I still haven't completed that piece of furniture! LOL
Last edited by Ray on September 19th, 2003, 10:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Ray
Senior Member
Senior Member
 
Posts: 53
Joined: September 16th, 2003, 9:43 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada. Eh !!!!

Postby garym on September 19th, 2003, 7:59 pm

Ray,

Your story sounds very familiar to me. I was so stressed before this all began, and hate taking meds. My primary area for twitching is the calves, and spent a lot of time just watching them twitch. That will create some anxiety!!
I am curious, were you sick anytime within a month or two of the beginning of the twitches. I was and took a prescription of Cipro (antibiotic) that I finished just a few days before I noticed my first twitches. I think the two are linked. Hopefully that is not the case with you, and it all linked to stress. This class of antibiotics have been linked to anxiety in many people which would explain a lot in my case. Either way, you've found the right place for support and answers, the people here are great.

Good Luck-Gary
garym
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 1888
Joined: August 23rd, 2003, 1:24 pm
Location: Texas

Postby Ray on September 19th, 2003, 9:37 pm

Hey Garym, thanks for the reply,

You said you think you've made a connection to the antibiotic you were taking, well, I've spent countless hours trying to find my own connection. Other than the stress, there is something, when I first saw the doctor about my wrist and elbow I thought I would get a flu shot at the same time. Now, the research I've done has not really concluded as this being the contributing factor for my twitches but think about it, injecting a dead virus in your body to build up immunity for the upcoming flu season, hhhmmmmmmm!

Well, Garym, we can live in the past, we can dwell on it or we can also move on! I know it's very hard, I'm struggling with it as I type but I feel this site already is theraputic and this is only my second post, LOL! May you find peace very soon Garym!

Ray
Ray
Senior Member
Senior Member
 
Posts: 53
Joined: September 16th, 2003, 9:43 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada. Eh !!!!

Sponsor

Sponsor
 


Return to Experiences with BFS

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Adsense [Bot] and 7 guests