next season on House MD

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next season on House MD

Postby Floater on December 22nd, 2006, 12:26 am

a patient is admitted to the hospital complaining of constant twitching.. after a quick over look by house he is released with a diagnosis benign fasciculations. the patient returns the next day swearing hes dying from als. and emg mri egg and bloodwork are done. all come back clean. patient refuses to believe diagnosis. House gets irritated and pops 10 vicodin and sents patient home with paxil. 3 days later patient dies from a gunshot wound to the head. biopsy on the muscle of the dead patient reveals mild neurological changes.. case closed. BFS just another blown off illness.
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Postby sharon slack on December 22nd, 2006, 1:56 am

Oh my god thats terrible, even if its only a TV programme!!.
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Postby basso on December 23rd, 2006, 1:33 pm

That is an interesting scenario Floater. Let's continue along that line. Let's say that this twitcher, we'll call him Bill :shock: , had an abiding interest in the after-life. He was also a believer in reincarnation, and had enlisted many experts throughout his life to garner proof to this end.

So, we are at the moment when poor Bill is "blown-away." As divine intervention, serendipity, or sod's luck would have it, a lightening bolt strikes his body, at the exact same time as the side of his face is being torn away by the sawed-off shot gun. This lightening bolt, the likes of which had only ever been seen by a Medieval monk in Northumberland, catapults Bill's soul into the killers body.

This impingement of two souls inhabiting the same body creates a unique set of circumstances whereby, not only does the killer now have bfs, but also sciatica, and a craving for deep fried larva to boot. (Disgusting, I know) Now, this self same killer, we'll call her ShellinaQ :wink: , runs to the same emergency department that blew off our earstwhile Bill. At first she is greeted with the same kind of contempt, and handed a prescription for Oxycontin by a Doctor who just doesn't give a shyt anymore. His hemorrhoids are positively throbbing, and he is in the midst of a very acrimonious divorce, indeed.

ShellinaQ, being a homicidal maniac after all, can not abide the doctor's whinging and whining and so stabs him in the heart with a hypodermic filled with air. What, you didn't think that bfs was going to turn her into a nice person did you?

Realizing that she might get in trouble for this last murder she runs out the door, and is chased by a poser security guard, who is on the Krispy Kream diet. ShellinaQ easily eludes him, and anyway he has a deadly heart attack, his last vision being a McDonald's across the street. With his hand extending outward toward the Golden Arches, he expires. Someone in the watching crowd is heard to utter, "Poor little fat poser."

Having little use for narcotics, murder being her drug of choice, she tosses the Oxycontin into a playground. Meanwhile the twitching is driving our murderer into a frenzy. She decides on a course of action that seems entirely rational to her; that being to turn herself into some kind of wall paper pattern at a posh hotel.

Bill's voice begins to get stronger. He now knows he has met his demise, but is sure he will have no chance at reincarnation if he is transmuted into wallpaper. In, what only can be described a Herculean effort, Bill throws his consciousness into a passing sea gull at the same moment that ShellinaQ becomes a rather nice Paisley pattern at a Hilton. The gull, we'll call him Jonathon L., was on his way to a serious beach boinking party, and decides that this sudden onslaught of schizophrenia is due to the undigested crab guts he just ate.

Bill and the Jonathon L. live out some very nice years together, eating some, boinking a bit more, and holding court over a group of Rosicrucian Gulls down at the docks. ShellinaQ finds peace as a Paisley pattern for about a year. Then, in perhaps a kind of fitting retribution, the Hilton goes through a refurbishment, and ShellinaQ is subsequently papered over by hideous Floral design.

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Postby sharon slack on December 23rd, 2006, 6:10 pm

Hmmmm, I think someones been mixing the egg nog with the wacky baccy!!!!. :wink:
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Postby wjjw on December 23rd, 2006, 8:53 pm

basso wrote:Let's say that this twitcher, we'll call him Bill , had an abiding interest in the after-life. He was also a believer in reincarnation, and had enlisted many experts throughout his life to garner proof to this end.

Hey, that guy sounds familiar. :wink: I’ll tell you though, garnering proof of reincarnation is no easy matter. I don’t envy Ian Stevenson. A few months ago two skilled psychics that I researched independently gave me identical past life readings. Unfortunately, I can’t accept it as proof. The second could have psychically read if from me, rather than perceiving an actual past life. But I don't think we need more proof. A simple observation of Nature shows us how ubiquitous cycles and evolution are. It’s this life that matters for now, and this twitching body is just fine with me. Have a merry Christmas and a great 2007.

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A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms--Albert Einstein
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Postby basso on December 24th, 2006, 2:59 pm

By Jimminy you look handsome as a sea gull. I always knew you were a high flyer. Hey, it wasn't you who pooped on my car was it?

Hi Sharon. You haven't heard? The new Canadian Christmas Pot called Egg Fry Your Nog-genjiuana? It is awesome, totally blows your mind. Twitching, what twitching, and what are those horses doing in my living room?

Merry Christannukonicamas to one and all.


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Postby Chris swl on December 27th, 2006, 7:09 am

Hi
The House thing! Yeh sounds like good viewing for my neuro!!

Chris!
Good luck to all with BFS/BCFS
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Postby Christina on December 27th, 2006, 10:27 am

How did I miss this gem of a post? :D

Thanks for making my morning.

Hope you all had a very Merry....

Christina
Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly.
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Postby massagefan16 on December 27th, 2006, 6:11 pm

The only way ShellinaQ could get that angry is if someone stole her evening bowl of ice cream. Should that happen, anything is possible including severe meteor showers and rapid expansion of the hole in the ozone layer...
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