Let a friend down

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Let a friend down

Postby MaryY on December 19th, 2006, 1:59 pm

I've been so occupied with myself for the past few months I feel I let a good friend down.
As most of you know I am a nurse and one of my closest friends is also a nurse and actually helped deliver my son on her wedding anniversary....

During my first go round with BFS 4 years ago, she stood by my side and went to most appts with me..... helped me thru my worst fears numerous times... When this second go round started in September I just didn't have the heart to put her thru this with me again and I hadn't talked to her in a while.... I've pretty much toughed this one out myself and with the help of all of you....
Well anyway, my friend called yesterday out of the blue..... Things have been terrible for her... husband sick, problems with the kids, some one in the extended family murdered etc..... I felt horrible that I hadn't been there for her and she was furious with me for not letting her know I was having problems again.....
I felt bad all day and really hated myself for being so self centered for so long. I have made a promise to not let this BFS thing keep me from what's really important again..... Our friends, family etc need us... not part of us but all of us.... :(
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Postby massagefan16 on December 19th, 2006, 2:11 pm

Well, the hard thing is always to know who wants to listen and who thinks we're just nuts. I've stopped telling people (especially when I see their eyes glaze over)...so I totally understand why you didn't mention or call. I haven't told one of my close friends either. I barely even noticed Christmas coming this year because I was so preoccupied with the stupid twitching...

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Postby MaryY on December 19th, 2006, 2:37 pm

Yes,
I too usually love the holiday season... love to shop for gifts, send cards, have friends over, look at lights, participate in church activities.. but this year I've barely gotten my gifts bought and wrapped and did a lousy job of it to boot..... Even my husband commented on it the other night
He said "I've never not known you to love this time of the year and it's like your just going thru the motions..... Let me tell you though... I've had enough... I'm off all next week and I'm going to do all the things I love and be with all the people that mean the most.... A week of fun and rest
that's the ticket..... Let those muscles twitch.... who cares..... 8)
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Postby tewest99 on December 19th, 2006, 4:00 pm

The only reason we are not doing the things we so enjoy is because we are preventing ourselves. We can blame the BFS, etc. but the fault is not the BFS, it's just us. We need a good dose of reality and some times people get hurt, and that's a good thing, it makes us face the reality of our choices. We've chosen a victim mentality, we need to exercise the power of choice again and choose happiness. We owe it to ourselves and other to do this, to make correct choices.
Last edited by tewest99 on December 20th, 2006, 1:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MaryY on December 19th, 2006, 4:40 pm

Troy,
Of course you are right.... I've had my dose of reality for the week and need to start making better choices.... No more victim or patient mentality for me..... I'm fine....
Thanks for your help
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Postby tewest99 on December 20th, 2006, 1:30 am

MaryY wrote:Troy,
Of course you are right.... I've had my dose of reality for the week and need to start making better choices.... No more victim or patient mentality for me..... I'm fine....
Thanks for your help


Now if I could only take a dose of my own medicine and put this into practice more often in my life ... :oops:
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Postby Chris swl on December 21st, 2006, 4:25 am

Hi Mary

Your friend sounds very understanding, one in a million. I have friends and i have friends, if you know what i mean.
i have had a friend since the age of ten and he poped around last night, first time in months.
He know if he needs help i will be there no matter how long it has been since seing him. It is not your fault you have had some issues in your life..

Now is the time to help your friend and i think you will be good at that as, you too sound like a very good person.

Good luck Chris (UK)
Good luck to all with BFS/BCFS
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