Diarreha at work

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Diarreha at work

Postby Floater on November 3rd, 2006, 1:00 am

well i was at work today.... i ate some left over chinese food and took a mega man vitamin.. downed it with 4 cups of coffee... well after break i started getting pains and rumbles... so i ran to the bathroom.. i usually never use a public restroom because everybody *beep* and *beep* all over the seat.. anyway.. the pain was getting real intense!! and i was struggling to put plies of TP on the toilet seat.. i got fustrating because many plies fell into the toilet and on the floor...finally i got a nice coat of TP on the seat an before i could even sit down i had an analgasm all over the seat and into the toilet.... it was painful and a *beep* to clean up... but thank god i shaved my ass hairs the other day ... it made for a clean wipe:O)
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Postby Christina on November 3rd, 2006, 10:08 am

Floater,

This may fall into the TOO much information category. Perhaps it is just me....but some things are for sure better left unsaid......

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Postby garym on November 3rd, 2006, 2:47 pm

Arron,

Definitely too much info, but I haven't laughed so hard on this board in a long time.....so thanks for the laugh anyway.

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Postby wjjw on November 3rd, 2006, 2:57 pm

I laughed too. Seeing the title I would have never even read it, but I saw that Christina posted on the thread, and I couldn’t image why. Curiosity got the best of me. :lol:

Oh, and Arron thanks for making that icon small.
A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms--Albert Einstein
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Postby SuziQ on November 3rd, 2006, 3:05 pm

Well, I wasn't sure whether to laugh harder at the post, or the spelling of the word "diarrhea," but it certainly did give me a chuckle.

Bill...are you pursuing my girl, Christina? :shock: :wink:
Heh heh,
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Postby Jennhaz on November 3rd, 2006, 3:06 pm

OMGOSHHHHHHH..LOLOLOL..I cannot stop laughing I have not done that in days...lol...but I do have to ask..why did you post that, it was a joke right,,I mean you really didn't post that (asking while I am laughing).... :lol: Jenn
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Postby sharon slack on November 3rd, 2006, 5:35 pm

Hmmm, I'm slowly building a picture of you floater and it's becoming quite entertaining!. :lol:

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Postby basso on November 3rd, 2006, 6:48 pm

I think it was a gratuitous story. It is not so much what you are talking about, but how you present it. It leaves little to the imagination and is just a tawdry bathroom scene. As you are an artist, I expect more than just shock value or banal poopy stories. If it were not for the fact that it was about diarrhea, Floater might have been apropos indeed to this tale.

I have taken the liberty of re-writing it.

Having made the unwise choice of eating old Chinese, with a concoction of vitamins and coffee, I noticed a familiar and unwelcome rumbling in my bowels. Making my way to the restroom with a serious countenance, I made haste before nature might prematurely have her due. Once enclosed in the exiguous confines, of what could only be described generously as a squalid hole, I locked the door. I should have like to pull my pants down with great speed, but the toilet seat, having seen the products of other visitors deposited upon it forbade this. With my nether regions literally bursting at the valve, I tried valiantly to place sheets of tissue upon the seat, that I might cover up the horror. Haste did indeed make waste, as I watched with exasperation, nay enmity, as my first attempts either landed on the floor or in the toilet. The pressure was mounting, and if I hadn’t been so afraid of soiling myself, I may have tried to release a little gas. With a triumph that could only rival winning the war in Iraq, I succeeded in laying down a cover for my sensitive bum; and sighed with relief as my "earlier consumption poured forth." That first moment of giddiness was short lived, as I began to experience intense cramping in my intestines and terrible burning around my anus. I cursed my folly at having removed my pubic hair, for it was in precisely that local that the lancing pains were the worst. My only consolation was that, when it came time to clean my beleaguered self, the lack of hair did make for easy, if not, complete clean-up.

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Postby wjjw on November 3rd, 2006, 7:29 pm

As you are an artist, I expect more than just shock value or banal poopy stories.

If you prefer audio and visual arts, there are pictures of digestive waste and cats being subjected to the scent of excrement accompanied by hauntingly beautiful music on Arron’s myspace website. At the very least, it could serve as a future anthropological study of the mindset of a BFS sufferer.

Arron, has anyone told you you resemble a young Bob Weir?
A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms--Albert Einstein
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Postby Floater on November 4th, 2006, 1:06 pm

Basso your so *beep* funny!!!! i laughed so hard reading your rewrite that tears were drenching my cap'n crunch.

christina--- information can never be to abundant :wink:

Jennhaz,,, it happened you can ask my co-workers. i guess my bomb left them holding their breath or turning away as soon as they opened the bathroom door:)

wjjw.... your the first to think i resemble bob weir. bob weir reminds me of a time when i was 18,,, getting stoned and having my friends throw me into the shock-me bush.
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Postby Jennhaz on November 4th, 2006, 1:13 pm

Basso, Floater,


LOLOLOLOLOLOL..You guys should do this daily there would be alot of people relieved of their health anxiety... :lol: Jenn
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