In need of Good Jokes!!

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Postby SuziQ on August 19th, 2006, 3:25 pm

In light of the news of the so called human cloning going on, we have to ask ourselves the hypothetical question:

If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be...

A) murder?

B) suicide? or

C) merely making an obscene clone fall?

Blessings,
Sue
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Postby SuziQ on August 19th, 2006, 3:28 pm

One more...

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what? A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


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Postby tewest99 on August 19th, 2006, 11:12 pm

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Postby Christina on September 12th, 2006, 12:16 pm

An attorney got home late one evening, after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, James Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he got through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night do you call this? Where have you been?" And on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client had been granted his stay of execution after all.

Finally realizing what a day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs to give him the good news As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear end as he was bent over naked drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

He whirled around and screamed, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WOMAN DON'T YOU EVER STOP??!!
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Postby Christina on September 29th, 2006, 9:03 am

A Born Salesman!


A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a
big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota."

There was something about him the boss liked so he gave the kid the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came to see him. "How many
customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "One".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30
customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says, "$101,237.65".

The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell
him?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I
sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you
sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK? Is that right?"

The kid answered, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons
for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot; you should go
fishing.'
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Postby garym on September 29th, 2006, 9:13 am

Christina,

I liked that one...LOL.

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Postby 6t5frlane on October 3rd, 2006, 10:40 am

An Irishman walks into a Bar with a Steering Wheel stuck inside the front of his pants. The Barkeep says " Clancy you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants " Clancy says " I know, it's driving me nuts ".....
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