All Quiet on the Western Front

Use this area for any non-BFS related conversation

Moderators: JohnV, Arron, garym

All Quiet on the Western Front

Postby basso on November 25th, 2005, 10:28 am

These pages are so oddly quiet. How wonderful that our American friends are so belaboured with their turkey and wine, that they have hardly the where with all to rise from the couch to pee, much lest post. Where are those wonderful cries for help, that so fuel the errant knight in poor Basso; and make him rush to the rescue.

I thought the Europeans or my fellow Canadians might provide purpose for me, that they might write of such travails that my heart strings would be plucked and resonate such responses, but no.

It leaves me wonder if there is BFS.com after all, or if it was just a world of my make believe. Like Alice I have fallen through the rabbit hole, and find myself in a terrible and real world called life. How awful. There are people here who one can touch physically and have voices of such callousness that I shrink in trepidation.

My finger just twitched, the original one (sin), I must be real, I have to be a bfser. Does my voice not carry on any wind, to any corner, where real live cyber-friends might hear. Let me know that where I am now is falsehood, I beg you help....please.

Basso
Alone in the world, alone...alone....crying....alone.....(in a very wee voice indeed) someone..help me..please
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Postby wjjw on November 25th, 2005, 10:40 am

Basso, it must mean that everyone took your wise advice. Everyone is drained from giving out all that extra love to critical mothers, or even more difficult, to critical mother-in-laws. :shock:

Cheers,
-Bill
User avatar
wjjw
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 1400
Joined: September 24th, 2005, 2:39 pm

Re: All Quiet on the Western Front

Postby JodiD on November 25th, 2005, 3:05 pm

Where are those wonderful cries for help, that so fuel the errant knight in poor Basso; and make him rush to the rescue.

Alone in the world, alone...alone....crying....alone.....(in a very wee voice indeed) someone..help me..please

Basso,
How wonderful that bfs.com has given you purpose in life. Whatever did you do for the forty-some-odd years before that? Or, maybe you didn't ever actually exist before that; it was all a figment of your imagination. Only bfs is real. "I twitch, therefore I am." It's the twitchless who don't exist.

I assure you that I still exist, and there's even a pound or two more of me now than there was before. :lol: I have indulged in turkey, stuffing, yams, salads, and especially pie. I am in recovery now. It was all delicious. Even now there are leftovers in the fridge calling my name. "Jodi, Jodi, come eat me." I must go now and obey the voice.

Jodi
User avatar
JodiD
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 166
Joined: September 8th, 2005, 4:00 pm

Postby basso on November 25th, 2005, 6:22 pm

Phew, than goodness for you Bill, and you Jodi. I believe that in Latin Jodi the quote is "Twitchum ergo Sum." And Bill (formerly know as Martin Heidegger) didn't you and Descarte have a tete a tete, mano a mano in one of your former lives.

The discussion took place while both were drinking heavily and had enjoyed the rather boistrous company of Emmanuel Kant, who Bill now believes was Jodi :shock: !!

Bill: Quit hogging the bottle, burp, you've all but emptied it!

Jodi: Is the bottle half full or half empty, good sir?

Descarte: Would anyone care for some snuff?

Bill: Must you always snort that stuff and so adle your mind?

Descarte: I think I am, therefore I am....what?

Jodi: By God Descarte, I do believe I heard the sound of the tree falling in that confounded forest of a mind of yours.

Bill: Yes, yes I think...therefore....oh *beep* I lost my train of thought, caviar anyone?

Descarte: The snuff makes my nose twitch, oh blast it just won't stop.

Jodi: Twitching therefore what?. Was this what was gleaned from that unstoppable brain of yours.

Bill: By heavens yes. I twitch therefore I am or not.

Descarte: Oh frig, no more wine, no more snuff, alas we are no more than we think we are.

With that comment they abruptly passed out and hence one of the great philosophical thoughts of all times was born.

Basso
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Postby JodiD on November 25th, 2005, 6:46 pm

Wow, I've never been mistaken for Emmanuel Kant before. That must have been some pretty powerful booze, Bill, and I think the bottle was definitely more than half empty. (Either that or I really need a makeover. :lol: )

In any case, I think it's sweet that basso missed us.

I'm trying to test a theory that overeating decreases twitching. So far, so good, but I need more data, and there's still some banana cream pie in the fridge.

Jodi, aka Emmanuel Kant
User avatar
JodiD
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 166
Joined: September 8th, 2005, 4:00 pm

Postby wjjw on November 25th, 2005, 8:39 pm

Wenn ich Martin Heidegger in einem vorhergehenden Leben dann war, würde ich nicht die Karriere eines Ingenieurs in diesem Leben gewählt haben. Auch Heidegger mußte vor 1962 sterben.

Cheers,
-Bill
User avatar
wjjw
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 1400
Joined: September 24th, 2005, 2:39 pm

Postby basso on November 25th, 2005, 9:50 pm

Du hast ein grosse Fehler gemacht. Ich habe, mit meinen Augen sehen das du Heidegger wärst. Aber als du tot warst (Heidegger), ist deine seele in der Körper von Bill gefallen. Für mich das ist ganz klar, stimmt! Arbeit macht nicht frei, aber was mann denken, und wo mann macht und Sch-eiss ist ganz important.:lol:

Tschuss,
Basso (excuse my German, it has been 20 years)

Jodi:

My God, you are still so beautiful, love handles and all. Be careful because you will so increase your beauty that many men will want to eat YOU. :shock:

Yes, that is right, so consider the consequences. If you turn yourself into a pie wagon, you will find that you have become so irresistable as to tempt even the neurologist on your fine street. The Mexicans will hang pinatas as a testament to your voluptuousness, and children will sing songs of your fairness.

Basso
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Postby SuziQ on November 26th, 2005, 11:53 pm

JodiD wrote:
I'm trying to test a theory that overeating decreases twitching. So far, so good, but I need more data, and there's still some banana cream pie in the fridge.



Perhaps the tryptophan in the turkey would sufficiently raise our serotonin levels in the brain and thereby cure our twitching. Why didn't my neuro figure that out?

Basso-you can always roast a turkey of your own. I'm sure you have much to be thankful for. Next year, you can come to our house for Turkey-Day, and then you won't feel so neglected :)

Ich bin ein bfs-er. (That's all the German I can muster up, but I'm trying to 'fit in.')
User avatar
SuziQ
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2139
Joined: March 23rd, 2005, 10:36 am

Postby basso on November 27th, 2005, 10:45 am

I wonder, would tofurkey also have anti-twitching properties :?? Sounds good SuziQ, I will include you on my list of BFSers to visit once I commence my road trip. If only my kids weren't such a burden wanting such luxuries as an education, and food for that matter.

Cheers,
Basso

Looking for more offers...hey, why not for Xmas!! I will bring toys made of moose droppings, a specialty here in Canada, and maple syrup. Providing of course that I am not snowed into my igloo with my beaver friends. :lol: :lol:
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Postby SuziQ on November 29th, 2005, 7:24 am

Moose droppings and maple syrup....yummmmm


Tell your kids to go out and get a job. How much money can it cost to live in an igloo, anyway?
User avatar
SuziQ
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2139
Joined: March 23rd, 2005, 10:36 am

Postby basso on November 30th, 2005, 12:08 pm

The problem is SuziQ, my children have been so pampered as to make them quite incapable of even modest tasks; such as setting the table. To be honest, I am terrified of them; they yell at me so. Basso (they don't use Dad anymore :cry: ), do this, do that, take me to the mall, give me money, give me more...!!! It is like living with little hitlers; they even beat me sometimes. :shock: I may have to run away, and if I do I will need places to stay. I am low maintenance and help around the house.

Cheers,
Basso
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Postby JodiD on November 30th, 2005, 12:39 pm

I'm shocked that you have lost control your offspring. :shock: Were you not the one who gave me the helpful tip about gags and rope? Have these devices lost their efficacy? Have you buckled to your children's demands? You must take a stand. You must be strong. :evil: Tell them if they don't shape up you'll remove them as beneficiaries from your life insurance. :twisted:
User avatar
JodiD
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 166
Joined: September 8th, 2005, 4:00 pm

Postby basso on November 30th, 2005, 2:38 pm

Yes, I was shocked too at first, but now I am just sad :( . BFS has left me so fatigued that I do not have the strength to tie them to the bed anymore. I pine for the good ol' days, when to give one or both of them a shellacking would really lift my spirits, but it is no use; I am deteriorating in health and in spirit. My muscles are so tired from twitching, and I have such exercise intolerance. I am just looking for a quiet place to while away my final days; I still might be of some use to someone. I don't care about the life insurance. I am too sad to care about anything. I would cry but my tears ducts are quite empty. No doubt they will atrophy, and that will make me fret about my health even more.

with just enough strength I muster a Cheers,
Basso
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Postby JodiD on November 30th, 2005, 6:27 pm

If this weren't coming from the guy who regularly posts about embracing the joyousness of life, I'd almost think you were actually depressed. :cry: Could it be that even basso, self-appointed lifter of spirits, can get down in spirits? Is this a real cry for help? I'm afraid I just can't tell for sure with you in your igloo so far away. (But I'm not willing to bet any money on it.)

If you really are down in the dumps, let us know and we'll try to come up with something to cheer you up. :D
User avatar
JodiD
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 166
Joined: September 8th, 2005, 4:00 pm

Postby basso on November 30th, 2005, 10:03 pm

You are so, so, :cry: sw- :cry: sweet.. :cry: :cry: :cry:

Basso
basso
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 2359
Joined: April 28th, 2005, 7:17 pm

Sponsor

Sponsor
 

Next

Return to The Lounge (Off-Topic Conversations)

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests