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Native english speakers...PLEASE

PostPosted: April 16th, 2009, 4:39 pm
by Blizna
Hi,
At first thanks to Jro, my thesis was OK. Please, if somebody could read and check mistakes in that text I would be very, very glad and thankful. Its very important and I have nobody to correct it..prepositions etc. Thank you!!

This thesis deals with an organization of the main administrative institutions of the Czech state – Bohemian court chancellery and proconsulate in the period after the battle of White Mountain. It provides an overview of their structure, incidence and range of competence and progressive byrocratization on the background of formation of absolute monarchy and an influence of German language. The opening of the study is given by the year 1620 and traces the functioning of these offices to an inauguration of Maria Theresa. The paper simultaneously makes an attempt to describe the phases of development of the central authorities in the time of raging political changes in Bohemian countries in that epoch. The chancellery was also a checkpoint for all the correspondence between the Bohemian countries and the liege lord. A significant part of this thesis is dedicated to the lists and the registry system. However, there is a large amount of extant materials spread over a range of archival funds, on the other hand there is also an irretrievable waste caused by the historic events or some personalities´ negative attitude towards the papers.

Re: Native english speakers...PLEASE

PostPosted: April 16th, 2009, 8:51 pm
by ImOK
Hi Blizna - I will put removals in brackets right next to what I am replacing it with - no spaces between them. Also where I have questions I will insert *, a number, and note them below. I put in a few commas.


This thesis deals with [an]the organization of the main administrative institutions of the Czech state – Bohemian court chancellery and proconsulate in the period after the battle of White Mountain. It provides an overview of their structure, incidence and range of competence, and progressive byrocratization [on]of the background of formation of absolute monarchy and [an]the influence of the German language. The [opening of the] study [is given by]begins in the year 1620 and traces the functioning of these offices to [an]the inauguration of Maria Theresa. The paper simultaneously makes an attempt to describe the phases of development of the central authorities in [the]this time of raging political changes in Bohemian countries [in]of that epoch. The chancellery was also a checkpoint for all the correspondence between the Bohemian countries and the liege lord. A significant part of this thesis is dedicated to [the]these*1 lists and the registry system. However, there is a large amount of extant materials spread over a range of archival funds*2, on the other hand, there is also an irretrievable [waste]loss*3 caused by the historic events or some personalities´ negative attitude towards [the papers]these records*4.

*1 I'm assuming that the correspondence mentioned was registered and listed and this sentence relates to the prior sentence. You may want to more firmly tie together these two statements.
*2 DO you mean funds or records? Funds have to do with money and there is no mention of currency before this.
*3 This is based on the assumption that you mean that records were lost due to events or attitudes of people that had access to them
*4 You are referring to the records (extant materials) - correct?

OK, I know little of history but have read many abstracts for theses - hope this helps a bit. Try the substitutions and read it through. :wink:

Re: Native english speakers...PLEASE

PostPosted: April 17th, 2009, 4:51 am
by Blizna
Thank you very much!