Feel like a rotten person

Use this area for any non-BFS related conversation

Moderators: JohnV, Arron, garym

Feel like a rotten person

Postby joannela on February 23rd, 2008, 2:36 pm

My best friend from high school just told me that her father has liver cancer and only has 5-6 months to live. She's of course devastated. I'm trying to be as comforting as I know how - of course, I have no idea what to say - but even while I'm trying to be there for her all I can think is "well, I'm probably sick too." My God, I feel awful. I can't even be there mentally for my best friend who is going through one of the hardest times of her life b/c I am so preoccupied with my own health. Even as I type this, I hope that I really am just suffering from BFS, anxiety and other benign causes, but I'm still worried - about myself! Feel so selfish and irritated with myself. I've started the Zoloft again - this is my third day. I hope this helps me.

Just had to vent.
Joanne
User avatar
joannela
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 155
Joined: January 12th, 2008, 1:59 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: Feel like a rotten person

Postby justcindy on February 23rd, 2008, 4:17 pm

Don't beat yourself up. You are there for her more than you think you are, otherwise she wouldn't have called on you! You are NOT a rotten person. You are apparently a very caring person, otherwise you wouldn't care than she is going through a tough time. Going back to Zoloft may be a good move for you. I know the change my dr has made in my meds since January has helped a lot. I am still having very scarey days, but farther in between and not so severe as they were. Don't let yourself think like that. Continue to support her, you may begin to find that you aren't thinking about your body as much. :)
Cindy
User avatar
justcindy
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 534
Joined: January 9th, 2008, 2:11 pm
Location: Kentucky

Re: Feel like a rotten person

Postby joannela on February 23rd, 2008, 4:32 pm

Thanks. I hope the Zoloft helps - I know that finding the right medication is a crapshoot. My dr warned me that the first week I'd feel really lousy - and I do. Today is a little better than the past two days. I felt like absolute poo the last two days. If each day gets a little better, then I'll be golden! :)

Thanks for your note. I still feel bad for being so preoccupied with myself when she's going through such a hard time. Her dad is such a nice man and it's just so sad.

Joanne
User avatar
joannela
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 155
Joined: January 12th, 2008, 1:59 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: Feel like a rotten person

Postby Richard on February 26th, 2008, 8:55 am

A related item to this...

Yesterday I went to a free foot screening, sponsored by our local hospital.

While I was waiting I struck up a conversation with the woman across from me.

She tells me she has had 3 back surgeries (I had one). She was in a car accident. She also has neck problems, but the doctor told her since it happened so long ago he could do nothing for her anymore.

She had some sort of hamer toe which was operated on but came back.

She told me she gets 3 hours of sleep a night.

But interestingly she was in good spirits.

Man there are people in worse shape than me. I pray every morning that if it is in Gods will could he help me for this; but maybe I should pray every morning: Thank you it is not worse and protect me from more problems.

-Richard
If you are a Christian, please say a quick prayer for me. It would mean a lot to me.
Richard
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 633
Joined: May 14th, 2007, 6:09 am
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: Feel like a rotten person

Postby Nancy on February 26th, 2008, 1:57 pm

joannela: You are far from being a rotten person. First of all, simply being present to your friend is the best gift you could give her. There isn't anything to say that makes a situation like that better but your willing ear and open shoulder are a true comfort to your firend who is in great pain right now. The fact that your mind was pulling into its obsessions with sinister illness is not a reflection at all of your character. Your character is one of compassion...this is clear to all here. Unfortunately for many, the suffering of BFS has to do with the growing fear and obsessing about more sinister illnesses. That process interferes with your focus (in that the intrusive thoughts come unbidden even when you are taking in your friend's pain) and can distract you from expressing who you truly are...a caring, loving and willing friend but it does not define you.

Be gentle with yourself, joannela. You deserve tender care too.
Nancy
Selfless giver of time
Selfless giver of time
 
Posts: 109
Joined: October 24th, 2007, 10:19 pm
Location: Midwest

Re: Feel like a rotten person

Postby Chris swl on February 27th, 2008, 4:45 am

Hi joanne
you are not selfish, at this time of your life you are not well. this condition is a horror of an ilness, i should know, as some years back i was not my self at all. My mental state was nill. it will take time to beat this thing but you will do it, so fight on. When you are well again you can explain to your friend and i'm sure they will understan.

until then my prays are with your friend and you.
Take care
Chris Sewell
Good luck to all with BFS/BCFS
User avatar
Chris swl
Saint
Saint
 
Posts: 663
Joined: December 13th, 2005, 2:48 pm
Location: UK

Re: Feel like a rotten person

Sponsor

Sponsor
 


Return to The Lounge (Off-Topic Conversations)

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests