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10+ years & still in need of reassurance!

PostPosted: May 5th, 2014, 1:54 pm
by hpc
My first ever post, despite lurking occasionally for over a decade!

I can't believe I am writing this - but I need some reassurance. You would think after all this time that I would be more useful and *giving* the reassurance to others but there you go...

I started twitching in 2003. A big thumper thigh twitch. I remember it - i thought it was funny! Then they started to spread and I guess a month or so later I started to google and ...well you know how it goes. Severe anxiety and worrying about the worst. I have always suffered with health anxiety but wow the twitches really set me off - a new level of health anxiety!

Fast forward a year and a bit and although my GP was never concerned, she sent me to a neurologist and I had an EMG. It was all a bit blurry but I think the neuro's main concern was MS. I remember it, he said 'If you had MS I'd hear a particular noise now, but I don't' Thank God. I asked about MND and he as much as said you don't fit the profile. I have never felt relief like I did that day. I was like a new woman!

Over the next few years I calmed down massively and started to ignore the twitches. I had bouts of them flaring up and other times where i'd think they were as good as gone. I got married and I have had two gorgeous babies since. During both pregnancies the twitches stopped. I couldn't believe it during my first pregnancy and then when my first baby was about 1, just as I'd say they were starting up again I got pregnant again! Twitches went away again.

I often meant to post here and tell my story so I could help others...I'm sorry I didn't because so many of you give your time to provide wonderful supportive informative answers to those in need of an ear and some reassurance.

Anyway after a long break from the working world at home with my babies, I returned to work in Feb this year. I guess it has to be related - I mean as I type I see that it has to be related! - but towards the end of January the twitches came back. Back with a bang.
It started with a buzzing in my right foot. I was bothered by it. I went to the physio and basically asked about MS (I was anxious and sort of let myself panic and asked the question). I told him about the twitches and the neuro and he said don't you think you should go back? Whoa. Off I went on a spiral of worry. It mustn't even have been a week later and somewhere along the way the foot stopped and my right arm/hand became my total focus and concern. Since the start of February I have been having horrible twitches in my right hand and arm (everywhere but especially thumb)...sometimes tiny ones where I think I am imagining it but when I look v closely my index finger is actually moving ever so slightly. Other times big jumpy ones. A lot of the time it feels like my arm is super tight/tense and the twitches almost fire off of the tension if that makes any sense. If I squeeze my hand I will have a whole load. Doing anything vigurous with my right arm causes it to completely tense up and twitch. My right bicep literally flexes itself. My thumb clicks and often gets caught and i have to click it to bend (google woud suggest trigger finger?) but my elbow is sort of stiff sore too.
I should mention at this point that I have a lot of tension on the Right side of my back from scoliosis and I am sure this contributes to things??? I am hoping it is all from my right side of back being very tight.

I've been to 3 different GPs in the last few months. One of them said my reflexes were brisk and more so on the right side. Well that was like being hit over the head. She could see she'd sent me into a spin and told me in no uncertain terms that she was not worried and that I was very tense which wouldnt help anything. She told me to either go to a neurologist again (to stop the worry again) or try to relax and forget about them and come back to her in 3 months (which will be June). I went for the second option.
I have been extremely anxious over them flipping the focus of my worry from MND to MS and back again over the few months. I calmed down a lot over the last few weeks (they subsided a bit) but I've been off on one again since the weekend when I made a cake which involved stirring v sticky mixture which tensed up my arm and caused the twitching to set off again!!

So - here I am looking for a few words of reassurance.

One part of my mind says there must be something awfully wrong for this to be happening physically, in front of my eyes. Then another (saner) part of my mind says you've had this going on for over a decade - you saw a specialist way back and got all clear, nothing has changed (although right now the twitches are more localised and frequent in that place it has to be said)...
Sometimes I think a psychologist might be the answer :(

Anyway sorry for the thesis of a post. Any kind words appreciated! I hope I can return the favour when I am in a calmer place!

Many thanks.

Re: 10+ years & still in need of reassurance!

PostPosted: May 5th, 2014, 8:22 pm
by RGB
hpc wrote:

Then another (saner) part of my mind says you've had this going on for over a decade


Sometimes I think a psychologist might be the answer

You don't need our advice, you've worked it out for yourself :)

But if you want reassurance then... You are fine. You just twitch like thousands of other healthy people.


Re: 10+ years & still in need of reassurance!

PostPosted: May 6th, 2014, 3:22 pm
by mwagner
Oh dear, it's so sad that BFS can take such a hold on us, isn't it?

I'm sure it's not coincidental that your twitches returned with a period of high stress.

You have to realize that this can't be anything too bad, if you've dealt with it for 10 years, with it waning when you were pregnant. The pregnancy is interesting and makes me think you could have something immune related going on since your immune system is wiped out while pregnant.

Either way, you don't need a neurologist and try to work on your stress. I think that's the best thing you can do at this point.