Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

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Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Xina535 on January 25th, 2014, 12:39 am

I've been up since 4am, wondering about this left thigh of mine. I have the twitching of course, all over (7 months in), but my left thigh and hand have had other partiuclar symptoms that worry me.

My left hand - sometimes it feels weak, in the sense where my middle finger is 'off', like I can't really type like usual or flip through paperwork. This has come and gone. It's back now. It is accompanied by pain in my hand and fingers, sometimes. Right now, some pain is there. My right hand has the same pain, but not any of the weak feeling.

My left thigh - I've had lots of pain, severity has ranged from dull ache to stabbing, also has come and gone. What is NEW is that the pain died down, but now my left leg feels weak (mainly the thigh). I've tried to hold my leg up in the air while standing for 20 seconds and it's much harder to do than with my right leg. So it's currently feeling weak, with twitching and no real pain, but it does feel buzzy at times too.

I'm trying not to panic (again), but I am so confused by all of this. I reassured myself before with, 'Oh, as long as there is no weakness, I'm fine' and now I have weakness. It seems to be 'perceived' where I can still do things, but then I wonder if this will turn into clinical weakness and then when?

So I'm left with constantly monitoring my left hand and leg, looking and wishing for any possible improvement, but also consumed by fears on it getting worse. Looking up pschycosomatic disorders (what I was diagnosed with, in addition to BFS, which I of course cannot 100% accept) and also trying to read things that can reassure me, but am not having much luck tonight.

Can anyone help get me out of this? I just want to sleep, wake up and see that my symptoms have gotten better.

Note - only nerve type test done was nerve conduction test on my hands and arms which showed no sign of myleopathy (all normal). I am trying to use this as reasurrance, but I've also read that nerve tests are not effective indicators as the EMGS.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Xina535 on January 25th, 2014, 12:41 am

Oh - and I've felt my heartbeat in my left thigh too, at times, in different spots. I didn't even want to google that, too scared.

Definitely different than a twitch, it feels very much like my pulse and coordinates with it.

Should I worry about that?
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Steph on January 25th, 2014, 9:56 am

This sounds more like perceived weakness than anything real or clinical. One of the great joys of BFS is that new symptoms crop up frequently and send many of us back into major panic mode. I've experienced (and still am) the pain you describe and my symptoms are worse on my left side. I've also been able to feel my heartbeat all over my body since this started (you could actually see it in my stomach at one point). Yesterday I started getting a buzzing feeling in my scalp- that was new for me. One source of reassurance for me is that all of my symptoms started AFTER I googled swallowing problems. I found ALS and thought to myself "well at least I don't have twitching or weakness" and then BAM the twitching, perceived weakness, muscle soreness, buzzing, internal vibrations and a whole host of other symptoms started. In my case, it lends credance to the psychosomatic theory. I suspect it might for you, too. It has now been 5.5 months for me and I've all but forgotten the intial swallowing problems that led me here (I was diagnosed with GERD and treating it has improved symptoms). But, I am still left with all of this other crap and the occasional panic it creates for me. I've had a clean EMG and reassurance from my Neuro that it is benign, but it still gets to me. It also feeds off of stress. It sounds like your case is similiar to mine. This is a benign condition and can only truly hurt you if you let it.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby SecretAgentMan on January 25th, 2014, 10:31 am

Xina535 wrote:I reassured myself before with, 'Oh, as long as there is no weakness, I'm fine' and now I have weakness. It seems to be 'perceived' where I can still do things, but then I wonder if this will turn into clinical weakness and then when?


Xina,

You've posted before that you have found relief in hypnosis and self-hypnosis. This tells me that you realize the power of the mind. Are you familiar with the proper protocols for stating a positive affirmation? Basically you don't want to use negatives. For example, if I say 'don't think about bananas,' I am stating a negative because it paints a picture in the mind of what you don't want to happen. As you know, this is not desirable because you are bringing into the mind, that which you want to avoid. So, your reassurance statement above is actually a negative. You are thankful that there is 'no weakness' but you are bringing weakness to the forefront of your mind in saying this. Perhaps try coming up with a more positive affirmation and utilizing this imagery in your self-hypnosis sessions. Your fear and worry is giving energy and attention to what you don't want. Try giving that energy and attention to what you do want instead.

Also, I'm not sure if you've ever been tested for or even considered looking into dietary triggers, but some studies have shown that up to 34% of neurological problems can be triggered by inflammation of the digestive system where the immune system is rooted. Gluten intolerance is one of the most common neurological triggers. It is worth looking into if you haven't yet. Many main stream neurologists still don't seem to be aware of the research in this area, but it is gaining more attention every year. Good luck to you.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Xina535 on January 25th, 2014, 3:26 pm

Thank you both for replying and sharing your thoughts and advice. Steph, It for sure sounds that our cases are very similar. Makes me feel like I'm not alone here (this whole board helps!)

I have great days, and panic days. I hardly slept last night but today I just rested, massaged my thigh to try to loosen any tension, took magnesium and vitamins, did self hypnosis and plan to get a good night's sleep, and hope I will have a good or great day again when I wake up (at least that is what my positive affirmations were about, you are very right about focusing on what I want to happen, not what I fear!!). Noticed my symptoms were slightly better today. When they are better, I am better.

They have psychosomatic clinics near me here in Germany. My doc recommended it to me. I've been thinking about it....
I've also started a new psychotherapy with a doc recommended to me, who specializes in fear. I am waiting for the hypnotherapist to give me a new appt. So I'm trying over here, everything I can do. I wish I could be already 2 years into this like others on here who have a lot of this fear behind them. Though I know many still deal with fears even after a long time.

I've thought about the allergy thing too. I've dealt with post nasal drip and stuffed face for years, not knowing what triggers it, if anything. Will talk to my doc about allergy tests.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby chrissi on January 25th, 2014, 4:08 pm

"Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it" Kahlil Gibran
Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby SecretAgentMan on January 25th, 2014, 6:05 pm

Xina535 wrote:Noticed my symptoms were slightly better today. When they are better, I am better.


I am glad to hear you are doing better today. One important step necessary to overcoming fear is to take your power back. Consider if you will, your statement above. By relying on 'what is' for your happiness and security of mind, you are giving your power away to circumstances outside of your control. I realize it is easier said than done, but it is very possible to not give your power away like this. You can decide what you focus your attention on and if you decide to focus on positive things or things you are grateful for. You can refuse to let circumstances affect you in an emotionally negative way. That choice is yours. Once you realize this it becomes easier to always find happiness within that cannot be taken away from any external influence. I think that is the true secret to overcoming fear.
If your mind is your own worst enemy, why not make friends with it and turn it into your greatest ally? Mental discipline is achievable and there is help available. Learn what works for you, practice, and change your life for the better.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby ShawnW on January 26th, 2014, 9:58 pm

SecretAgentMan wrote:
Xina535 wrote:Noticed my symptoms were slightly better today. When they are better, I am better.


I am glad to hear you are doing better today. One important step necessary to overcoming fear is to take your power back. Consider if you will, your statement above. By relying on 'what is' for your happiness and security of mind, you are giving your power away to circumstances outside of your control. I realize it is easier said than done, but it is very possible to not give your power away like this. You can decide what you focus your attention on and if you decide to focus on positive things or things you are grateful for. You can refuse to let circumstances affect you in an emotionally negative way. That choice is yours. Once you realize this it becomes easier to always find happiness within that cannot be taken away from any external influence. I think that is the true secret to overcoming fear.


Good stuff SAM. This has really come to my attention lately. Not being a victim to the unknown...to fear...to anxiety...to possibilities. To live and love in the moment and to choose healthy positive thinking is a practiced art. With minimal practice, I'm already seeing results.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Xina535 on January 27th, 2014, 8:38 am

Chrissi - thank you for the PM and the topics list. I will read through them and will message or call you back. You really are a 'Saint!' :D

Thanks also to the rest for the extra help in remembering what is important and how effective positive thinking can be, on the mind and the symptoms! It is easier said than done so I am hoping my new therapist and more hypnosis sessions can help me get my control back.

By today, I am feeling much better. 8) The left leg weakness is just about gone. I found out that my whole left outer thigh is extremely hard and tight. When my husband massaged it, I was yelling and screaming, begging him to be very gentle and he said he was barely touching it. I can't tell that it hurts that bad unless it is touched. He said he noticed also it's all very hard and tight and compared to the rest of my thigh and also to my right thigh, and is the only place this is happening in both my legs. The most sensitive part was by/above my knee. I looked up all this stuff about the IT band and other stuff that it could be, but I saw some 'myleo' words in the searches so I stopped. Words tied to that medical term scare me, no matter how harmless or harmful the disorder/disease is. I will get over that one day.

I just figured this part of my thigh is in a really tense state and to treat it just like any other sore muscle after exercise. After two massages and two self hypnosis sessions, it is still tight, but the weak feeling has passed. Feel so relieved about it.

Same for my left hand. My hands still have this pain feeling to them, but I can flip through paper work and type better with my left than I could 2-3 days ago. I feel like this weird feeling in my middle finger is much better.

NOW IF THEY CAN ALL JUST STAY THIS WAY AND NOT GET WORSE AGAIN PLEASE! I'M TALKING TO YOU SUBCONSCIENCE! :wink:
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Xina535 on January 27th, 2014, 8:39 am

And let me also say THANK YOU and DANKESCHÖN to everyone here who has shared their experiences and have tried to help me out!!! Applause to all of you!
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby nrun90 on April 8th, 2014, 12:27 am

Just wanted to let you know I am dealing with the same things you are. I have a lot of pain in my hands and typing, flipping through papers and books feels awkward with my left hand. The pain also goes to my wrist, forearm, and shoulder. The pulse like twitching? I found one on my chest and literally flipped the f out...couldn't feel it. Very persistent and twitched like it was pulsing with my heart beat. Although I still have a lot of anxiety and fear, it's reassuring to know at least I'm not alone.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby Xina535 on April 8th, 2014, 5:55 am

nrun90 wrote:Just wanted to let you know I am dealing with the same things you are. I have a lot of pain in my hands and typing, flipping through papers and books feels awkward with my left hand. The pain also goes to my wrist, forearm, and shoulder. The pulse like twitching? I found one on my chest and literally flipped the f out...couldn't feel it. Very persistent and twitched like it was pulsing with my heart beat. Although I still have a lot of anxiety and fear, it's reassuring to know at least I'm not alone.


Have you had tests done? Note - the feeling I had in my left hand is gone. I have pains and sore and weak arms still, but some days are better than others. There is pulsing, that goes along with my heartbeat, but there is also pure random twitching. I have noticed that the hearbeat pulse feeling happens after I did something with my arms to overexert them, like carrying heavy groceries or even stretching. I think then that it's due to blood flowing into the arms, which I don't think is a bad thing.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

Postby nrun90 on April 8th, 2014, 8:12 pm

I did have testing done about a year ago. Went to neuro...she said I had no clinical weakness and no clinical reason for an EMG...blood work showed I had hypothyroid and a vit. D deficiency. I've read that the thyroid issues can cause a lot of things I have; however in Sept. I had my TSH checked and it was normal...so thyroid is okay and still have symptoms. Glad the feeling in your left hand went away. A lot of things with BFS seem to come and go, just something to get used to.
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Re: Weakness, confusion, insomnia and panic - Need help

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