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I am a MESS..... AGAIN. PLEASE HELP!

PostPosted: July 12th, 2013, 5:19 pm
by donegan_himself
So - I posted to the board awhile back and was reassured by a few of you (thank you!) that what I was experiencing was just stupid BFS type stuff and that I would be fine. Well - I'm coming into my 9th month of twitching and the fear is back again. Tenfold. I still twitch all over, tongue included from time to time (maybe once a day). I've been to the doctor three times and been to a neuro once (I'm due back mid-August for a follow up). Everyone is telling me I'm ok and just to move past this whole thing, but it's far more difficult than it should be. I recently started a new job, a very physical job at that. Every time I feel sore or tired, my mind rushes back to my fears of a debilitating disease that will surely kill me. I'm 24, there are days that I've been so bad that I've considered rekindling things with an ex of mine and proposing to her out of sheer fear of dying alone. I haven't gone out to any social events since November. I just go to work, come home, and sit in my apartment watching reruns of I Love Lucy. It's been nine months and I can't take it anymore. I talked to my doctor about my anxiety and he prescribed me Xanax to which - I'm eating like candy to calm my nerves. I feel like I'm having trouble talking, which is leading to bulbar fears. I'm just a mess, a wreck, and no one seems to get what I'm going through. This is beyond disappointing. Help?