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Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: November 4th, 2013, 4:15 pm
by german
This is a message passed along after a phone conversation with a friend of mine named Jeremy.

He said " After fearing the worst over and over again for 4 years because of my symptoms, I was shaking in my neuros office flying through and signing off on all the stupid paper work and awaiting the report of my 5th EMG and 4th MRI. I was called back in yesterday for an office appointment first thing this morning. The Doc was taking forever and my wife was calling every 5 minutes. I just kept bumping her call, I wanted to hear nothing else but the "all clear" from my neuro just one more time. He finally walked in and said " Jeremy, how you feeling? I almost crapped my pants because I had seen the guy probably 40 times and he never started our conversations that way. The next thing he did brought me to tears(literally). I guess he saw me freaking out and he said "Jeremy, Jeremy your EMG is normal, I want to talk to you about something else". The world lifted off my shoulders. Then He said " We have a counselor here to sit in with us, do you have a family member here that can be here with you as we go over the information. I went from elated to *beep* my pants again. My whole world sank and my body was shaking like crazy. I just shook my head "no".
My doc is a very cool guy and as I was looking at the floor crying, I could tell he moved over and sat down beside me as a lady came in( the counselor). He said "we found no evidence of motor neuron disease but do we have your permission to go over this stuff with you alone, normally patients have someone here with them. I said sure. He handed me a paper of which I again don't even remember the heading of, I just signed it. Then they signed it. I finally just blurted out what do I have? He said "Nothing physical". He said "I spoke with your wife and she asked if everything checked out okay again if I knew of a really good counselor to connect you with". He said in the 20 years practicing medicine he was never involved in an introduction like this but because of what happened to him 18 months ago he agreed.
He looked straight at Jeremy and said " Jeremy, you remind me of my friend Stacie. He said Stacie is, to most peoples surprise a guy friend of mine that has struggled with health anxiety for 15 years. He said that Stacie had been afraid he had some sort of deadly disease for almost 2 decades but never anything neurological until the last 6 years. He said Stacie had started having symptoms like mine and he had actually been seeing him. My doctor said that Stacie initially spilled his guts to him when he first thought he had als but after the first 2 years as his physician passed thats all he ever called him for, and his fear had pretty much erased their friendship. He told me that Stacie called him about a year and a half ago and he didn't take the call but he later noticed Stacie left him a voicemail. When he listened to it he couldn't believe it. Stacies biggest fear had come true, he was dying. He said he immediately called him back and Stacie said That while getting more testing after over 4 years of fearing als they found bone cancer. My doctor said that at that moment he could tell the old Stacie was back and they talked all the time from that point forward. He said he was devastated his friend was sick but he was happy he got to connect with the old buddy he always knew".
Anyway, Jeremy went on and on with details but the amazing thing is Stacie didn't die. Stacie was cancer free and had no more anxiety. Jeremy's doctor told him that the most profound thing Stacie told him was that after he found out he had cancer and he had walked with it for a while, he realized " he could capture very moment or let death continue to capture every one of his moments and finally his life ". Stacie said he just decided right there that that was it, he was in control of whatever life he had left. Jeremy said his doctor told him that Stacie attributes it all to finally having no where to run. He finally had to face his mental issues but what concerned Jeremys doctor was that he said his doctors new personal belief was that constant fear and stress actually might have weakened Stacies body and made him susceptible to cancer. He told Jeremy He wanted him to deal with his anxiety issues without the bad report( no one makes it out alive).

Don't let the unforeseen future rob you of the present. Enjoy your friends, play with your kids, hold your wife without being mentally preoccupied. LIVE LIFE!!!

P.S. I don't care who you are or if you think you have anxiety and stress issues. If your here you have them in some shape or form. If the flu caused your SX, well your still here. If you are one of the .0000001% that might have als on here, well your still losing moments doing this B.S. There is no reason to stop living and have your life revolve around a very rare maybe, regardless of your justifications.
I love you guys and I hope this helps.

Re: Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: November 4th, 2013, 4:48 pm
by Anxious guy
Wow that was a great post !! What you say about stress & anxiety lowering immune system could be true as mine was on the low side with a white cell count of 3.9 when it should be somewhere between 4-10.
Thanks again.

Re: Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: November 4th, 2013, 7:11 pm
by emmie.s
This is such a great, beautiful post. God Bless you and thank you for sharing!!!

Re: Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: November 6th, 2013, 10:46 am
by LApea
Great story, thank you for posting!

Re: Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: November 12th, 2013, 12:55 am
by johnnythejet
Good post, german. Nice to hear from ya.

Re: Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: March 30th, 2014, 1:12 pm
by nervous nel
Hello, this post brought tears to my eyes as I am one of the people who are in that state of panic you've all been in and I hate it, I'm a 28yr old married woman with a 7yr old boy and a 3yr old girl, I live for my hubby and kids and I really need to get over this horrendous fear that's ruining my life. I have been twitching bodywide since 2010 when pregnant with my daughter although I remember having really bad facial twitching all over my face at 16 when I was in a very nerve racking situation my tongue started twitching around nov/dec last year, I have suffered with a puffy tongue on and off for around 10yrs the top goes very pale and smooth so have looked at it a fair amount before but since noticing the odd twitch I've noticed that my tongue is thicker on one side than the other when resting in my mouth it's very obvious, the surface moves lots even inside mouth relaxed the middle seems to suck in in then quiver I am absolutely petrified and have been reading posts on here for months and I just hope and pray that one day I may be like yourself and get on with my life :(

Re: Jeremy, a fellow twitcher

PostPosted: April 2nd, 2014, 6:54 am
by ShawnW
Great post, sounds like a great doc.