What could this be?

[Dennis_dw]

Hi guys,

I am new here but I have been visiting this forum for about a good year and a half. And this is my story.

I am Dennis I am from Belgium, 24 years old and my symptoms started about 2 years ago around. In the beginning I only had chest pressure and sometimes heart palpitations and muscle cramps when I was lying in bed, because of it I was getting very little sleep and was very stressed during the day. I went to the doctor allot he kept saying that it was stress/anxiety it did not take too long before I was unable to go to work, so the doctor subscribed me xanax, sertraline, ivega (antidepressants, benzodiazepines, anti-psychotics). He said that I had a lack of serotonin, panic attacks and chronic hyperventilation. I was constantly twitching, fatigue, almost fainting. So wasn't able to go to work for about 2 weeks and did anti stress/hyperventilation practices, read a book about it but I wasn't convinced that it was hyperventilation so I kept searching. The first thing that I thought I would have was cryptotetany (Spasmophilia) so I asked my doctor that to be tested for that, at that point my doctor was getting really annoyed that I kept coming that much and did not believe he's diagnoses.

Then after those 2 weeks when I was working again I was getting chest pain and my left arm hurt, I felt my heart pounding (slow but hard) in the middle of the night. So I called an ambulance they took me to the hospital, when I explained my past doctor visits they concluded that I was indeed hyperventilating they did not even test me just sent me home. They said I should get psychological help and consult a neurologist just to be sure so I did both. The neurologist did a lot of test but didn't find anything, he said that my symptoms could be hyperventilation related. The psychiatrist said that it didn't look like I was paranoia that I had a realistic view on it and that it looked like I just wanted an answer. The doctor gave me 4 more weeks from work (6 weeks in total). So everyone at work started saying I was faking it just to get some vacation, and almost every doctor was calling me a hypochondriac.

I also did a Pulmonologist (lung specialist) they said that they hadn’t test results that terrible in a while and that my symptoms where from hyperventilation/asthma for sure. At that time everything was itching and I had difficulty breathing. I had to go back in 4 months during that time almost all my symptoms went away, I stopped taking the antidepressants/psychotics and only the fasciculation’s and the numb feeling in my feet/hands never went away.

4 months later I was feeling better and went back to the Pulmonologist they said my results were very good for an asthma patient. Which is weird because before they said that they hadn’t seen results that terrible... Not much later I had a normal cold and all my symptoms where back. (Numb limbs, fasciculation’s, cramps, always feeling restless, sweat attacks, itching skin, difficulty breathing) So I was back at square one.

So I went to another family doctor who was surprised that I had been taking that much medication, this was the first time in a year that understood me and didn’t call me a hypochondriac. At that time I was on this forum a lot and wanted to be tested for BFS. He sent me back to a neurologist who did all test that he could do to rule out ALS, MS etc… But to be honest I was never scared about any of those diseases I was 90% sure it was BFS (at that time). He ruled out everything and let me do a MRI and would sent the results to my doctor. My doctor never got the results only the info that nothing abnormal was found. So months went by where my symptoms where mild but then when It started again after a flew. I started filming my fasciculation’s contacted the neurologist again and I asked him for the detailed results of my previous tests. When I came in he asked me how I was and said that he had no conclusion. So I showed him the movies and he was astonished and apologized for calling me a hypochondriac. While I was there I had fasciculation’s all over my leg so he apologized 5 times and said that he had never diagnosed a BFS patient in he’s whole carrier. He started joking and asked if I could send him the movies, so that he could go show off with his findings at the neurology conference because it is so rare.

So this was the end for me after a year and a half of tests, no more doctors! I finally got a diagnose and it was benign, hooray! (30/01/2014) Since a few months before my diagnose I was going skydiving I and picked up rockclimbing again. Went outside again started partying like it was the end of the world again. Even though it felt like I needed to recuperate longer after sports and partying all night my symptoms where under control. And where a little irritating at the most until a while back it started again and worse than ever.

When I lie in my bed I am shaking out of control. (I also have this at day by now)
Fasciculations everywhere.
I can hear/feel my heart pound tough its only about 57bpm to 65bpm 13/7 blood pressure (at rest)
I get chest pains.
Everything is itching.
I am always hungry even when I at so much that I have to go lie down, and I am even losing weigh tough I eat a lot.
And sometimes 10min after showering my sweat stinks like ammonia.

(Tough i am not nervous at all, I am a relaxed as can be)

Thanks in advance
Dennis

[Dennis_dw]

Deleted*

[Yuliasir]

Dennis,
have you ever seen endocrinologist among other doctors?

extreme appetite plus losing weight might indicate some endo troubles. Specific smell of sweat, low heart rate (practically already at the level of slight bradicardia) may indicate some endo troubles too. Thyroid most probably. Your symptomes are pointed towards both hyper and hypofunction, and there is a disease called Hashimoto disease (many of us are suspected to have it), at which thyroid acts like crasy first, and only then comes usually to hypothyroidism...

as for candidosis, I doubt you may have it becasue symptomes you list are so vague and non-specific... as a female, I often enocunter episodes of candida in my life becasue it dwells in some parts of our body )) believe me, to have symptomes like specified, you need to have SYSTEMIC candidosis, whic is usually a fate of people having HIV or other severe immunosuppressing diseasestreatment. Candida is a fungi, and we usually are not a good substrate for them, unless something do not change out normal flora (which may be casued by immune system suppression or... by change of ouor physiological fluids pH which is possible in case of hypoglicemya (low blood sugar), thyrois issues or hyperventialtion (as it changes pH of your blood, and therefore may change pH of saliva, mucus etc.)

usually candidosis is manifestesd as ulcers at the mouth or, well, for ladies.... in the intimate places, but not like yours. Males can have urination pain, as it is listed, but usually nothing more.

Overall body itching and even urticaria is a symptom of BFS (or atl least it is a common complain for BFSers).
Your heart symptomes also fit somatization picture (it is one of the most common form of somatization disorder, while the heart in fact is usually stronger than average)
Hyperventialtion is really very possible (as it was confirmed by tests) - your symptoes are very consistent with it and asthma is know to be in fact a hyperventialtion issue, so breathing practices usually help.
Asthma also is know to be one of 'grey' diseases with a lot of connection between nervous system and breathing regulation (involuntary spastic activity in bronchi).

which means that something in your nervous system (including autonomous) is wrong and this is a long story.

So for me (however I am not a doctor, just a medical translator) your condition looks like typical 'grey' disorder, as BFS, with a great deal of autonomous system involvement, causing heartbeat issues, hyperventialtion, itching etc., and, probably some endocrine issues which may be worth to check.

[SecretAgentMan]

Dennis,

I was one of those folks who was able to associate my onset of BFS in a big way (but not entirely) with candida overgrowth. You may want to google a condition known as 'leaky gut syndrome' (LGS) which is caused by candida overgrowth. See if it fits you and trust your gut. Har har... (Pun intended)

Seriously though, once I went on a special diet and took supplements that aided in my healing and recovery from LGS my BFS symptoms greatly diminished. Because LGS was not soley responsible for my BFS I had to make other lifestyle changes, including the integration of stress management and relaxation techniques like self-hypnosis and meditation. This is greatly simplified of course, but I don't want to overwhelm you in the beginning of your journey. LGS is completely treatable and I believe BFS is too based on my own experience. Not everyone with LGS gets BFS and not everyone with BFS has LGS. Everyone is different, so you will need to be strong and determined to persevere. You can do it though. Hang in there.

[Dennis_dw]

Dennis,
have you ever seen endocrinologist among other doctors?

No i have not. Maybe this isn't a bad idea, maybe i have a too fast working thyroid? This might be the problem why a always have dark eye bags.

extreme appetite plus losing weight might indicate some endo troubles. Specific smell of sweat, low heart rate (practically already at the level of slight bradicardia) may indicate some endo troubles too. Thyroid most probably. Your symptomes are pointed towards both hyper and hypofunction, and there is a disease called Hashimoto disease (many of us are suspected to have it), at which thyroid acts like crasy first, and only then comes usually to hypothyroidism...

Well it is my heartbeat when i am almost asleep, I do boulder/rock climb alot and always ride my bike. So i dont think this is abnormal low when i am just sitting down its around 65 to 70bmp. I am not sure what you mean by endo problems? I will look into the hashimoto disease.

Candida is a fungi, and we usually are not a good substrate for them, unless something do not change out normal flora (which may be casued by immune system suppression or... by change of ouor physiological fluids pH which is possible in case of hypoglicemya (low blood sugar), thyrois issues or hyperventialtion (as it changes pH of your blood, and therefore may change pH of saliva, mucus etc.)

Well the reason i think its candida is because i have a lot of symtoms in that list, but if i search hyperventilation, stress, cryptotetania, BFS they all seem to have almost the same symptoms. I had my tongueband removed because it was to short a month ago and i wanted to clean it better because i tough it was the bad taste but it does not seem to help.

Overall body itching and even urticaria is a symptom of BFS (or atl least it is a common complain for BFSers).
Your heart symptomes also fit somatization picture (it is one of the most common form of somatization disorder, while the heart in fact is usually stronger than average)
Hyperventialtion is really very possible (as it was confirmed by tests) - your symptoes are very consistent with it and asthma is know to be in fact a hyperventialtion issue, so breathing practices usually help.
Asthma also is know to be one of 'grey' diseases with a lot of connection between nervous system and breathing regulation (involuntary spastic activity in bronchi).

When i search for BFS i mostly read that heart palpitations and BFS are unrelated.
As for hyperventilation i seriously doubt that it is it. I went to 2 specialist and both said that my breathing rhythm was already good and that i seem like a calm person. My breathing is slow and so is my heartbeat and i don't really have panic attacks i just get very sweaty and nervous when i feel like i am going to faint. Well they diagnosed me with asthma when i was 10 and i almost never used my inhaler, only if there where cats or dust. I never had any trouble breathing until all the other symptoms came along.

which means that something in your nervous system (including autonomous) is wrong and this is a long story.
.

Yea that there is something wrong i've know for a while now The question is what the more i go to doctors the crazier they think i am.

So for me (however I am not a doctor, just a medical translator) your condition looks like typical 'grey' disorder, as BFS, with a great deal of autonomous system involvement, causing heartbeat issues, hyperventialtion, itching etc., and, probably some endocrine issues which may be worth to check.

So except for avoiding stress, eating healthy and hoping i don't get sick there is not much i can do i guess? They have taken my blood like 12 times in the last year and a half, the only thing abnormal was the CK level which was way to high. I guess a different neurologist wont find anything new because the final conclusion of the neurologist stated that BFS was only a "diagnosis of exclusion". And i should start searching for different specialists? I also went to a cardiologist and my heart was normal. I was in emergency hospital (dont know the english name) they also checked my arterial blood if i had hyperventilated or i was stressed, but everything was normal my heartbeat was 64bpm the whole night. No palpitations...


I also listed al the symptoms from the list above that i have:

- always tired
- shaking uncontrolably
- always hungry (i only weight 62KG and eat double what someone else eats)
- cold hands/shivering feet
- allergies
- muscle pain
- unpleasant body odor
- alcohol intolerance (some periods)
- irregular heartbeat
- under temperature
- changes in body weight without changing diet.
- worsening of symptoms caused by moisture or humid weather , heat or hot weather (tis gives me a lot of sputum)
- repeated infections such as chronic cold
- shortness of breath
- painful and / or tight feeling in chest
- sore throat
- itchy skin
- dark circles under the eyes
- headaches, migraines (with aura)
- pressure in the head
- bad taste in the mouth (Tongue is not that white)
- difficulty swallowing
- spots before the eyes , irregular vision , floaters
- itching in the ear
- ringing in the ears ( tinnitus ) (could be from the parties ofcourse)
- abdominal pain
- stuffed belly spot. in combination with gas
- itchy genitals and anus (This could be normal tough)
- loss of libido
- tingling , numbness , burning sensations in the fingers , eg , face , fast asleep limbs
- dizziness , loss of balance
- muscle weakness
- fainting (feels like I could any moment)
- involuntary trembling muscles ( fasciculations )
- restless legs syndrome ( RLS )
- various nervous system - related problems
- depression
- Insomnia
- too much sleep and not wake up rested
- easily scared
- rushed feeling (stress)
- memory weakness , difficulty concentrating
- changing moods (because of the sleeping problems)
- difficulty speaking (when symptoms are at there most)
- obsessive thoughts
- paranoia

Thanks for the reply!

[Dennis_dw]

Dennis,

I was one of those folks who was able to associate my onset of BFS in a big way (but not entirely) with candida overgrowth. You may want to google a condition known as 'leaky gut syndrome' (LGS) which is caused by candida overgrowth. See if it fits you and trust your gut. Har har... (Pun intended)

Seriously though, once I went on a special diet and took supplements that aided in my healing and recovery from LGS my BFS symptoms greatly diminished. Because LGS was not soley responsible for my BFS I had to make other lifestyle changes, including the integration of stress management and relaxation techniques like self-hypnosis and meditation. This is greatly simplified of course, but I don't want to overwhelm you in the beginning of your journey. LGS is completely treatable and I believe BFS is too based on my own experience. Not everyone with LGS gets BFS and not everyone with BFS has LGS. Everyone is different, so you will need to be strong and determined to persevere. You can do it though. Hang in there.

Yea i've read about LGS and one of the specialist that i visited also thought i had that but she only took a blood test and said she thought i didnt have that, she still gave me magnesium supplement and B12 injections but that didn't help at all. Trust your gut haha Where do i test it?

Well since i live alone i don't eat very healthy but i don't think i eat super unhealthy. Well i have had my symptoms for about 2 years now so i learned to live with them but now they are getting worse. I've did stress management and i think i can deal with stress/anxiety. But i thought that by getting a diagnose the stress would be away which causes the most troubles but i don't believe its only stress anymore. I do believe stress makes everything worse but i think there is something else seriously wrong and i really do want to find what it is.

Its not like am a very anxious person like i was in the past i just want to know whats wrong with me, i want to go to Australia in about half a year and i don't want to be surprised by my condition while i am there.

Thanks for the help/support both i really appreciate it!!

[SecretAgentMan]

I would recommend seeing a doctor who has experience in successfully treating LGS for a second opinion, but that is just my 2 cents. I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a holistic doctor who had successfully treated others before me with the condition. There is a supplement called Interfase Plus from Klaire Labs that is good at breaking down the colonies of candida in the gut and greatly speeding up recovery time. Diet alone is a method of starving the candida out and that can take many many months. The supplements available today such as Interfase Plus can speed that up to just weeks.

[Yuliasir]

Dennis,
64 to 70 bpm at rest is normal, so then probably bradicardia is not your actual symptome. People from this board often complain for heart palpitations, however it may no be a KEY symptome for BFS but indicates overall autonomous system mess ))
Several symptomes in your selected list still suggest that you may need to see endocrinologist.
For me those symptomes are: stable low weight, constant feeling of being hungry, low body temperature, tiredness.
Bad taste in the mouth usually indicates methabolic issues (if not caused by gastritis or oral inflammation or so called ozena), bad/strange odor of other bodily fluids might indicate therer is something to look in your kidneys, pancreas and liver (but you say your blood tests are ok - then maybe it is your hypersensitivity? Does other people note you smell bad?) Sometimes bad smell of the sweat is caused by GIT troubles which you have, but you say it smell ammonia - so I would expect that your urine analyses should be deviated or your blood test may show uremia...
all the rest of the symptomes you list fall mostly into the list of symptomes common for 'grey' disorders from IBS to BFS and from migraines to neurodermitis )) which in fact means that your autonomous nervous system in in mess. Autonomous nervous system rules operation of your heart, breathing, sweating, GIT movement and digestion itself (gastric and other GIT juices), it is involved in swelling reactions and in inflammation regulation etc. it is strongly related to pituitary gland operation, and pituiatry gland in fact may be rsponsible for many of your issues as well as thyroid. Pituitary gland regulates many important hormones, regulating ans stimulating all other endocrine systems in the body.

So I would suggest you to see one doctor you did not see before - endocrinologist - and ask if your endocrine system needs to be checked.

I may assure you that all the rest of the symptomes like uncontrollable shaking, cold hands, allergies, muscle pain, alco intolerance, irregular heartbeat, easily swelling mucosa (weather effect, cold, pain in the throat), shrtness of breath and pain in the chest, migraines with aura etc, etc. are typicalfor BFS people and usually are related to stress and stress related dysautonomies. You may also have your immune system a bit down, but of course not to the point of systemic candidosis I think.


The problem of dysautonomias is that it is easy to get it and hard to rid off... Well, check you endo status and then you would see if you need a hormonal therapy or rather serious antistress program and maybe a diet to improve your guts condition (but usually guts are also going better when autonomous storm is calmed).

[Yuliasir]

Dennis,
another question
do you take any supplements? particularly any protein supplements? skydivers usually do not, as well as rock climbers.... but who knows...

[muppetdog]

I agree with Yuliasir, you should go to an endocrinologist.

Candida is a fake diagnosis. It is used by chiropractors to sell you supplements. Not science based at all!! When I saw the list of all those symptoms I had to laugh. I am sure!!! It was kind of like the list someone had on here the other day. It was the same huge improbable list of symptoms only with anxiety at the top.

But seriously, I am sad that you are not being taken seriously by your doctors. Keep looking for REAL answers. Drop the candida thing.

Best of luck

[Rothhaar]

Hi Dennis,
first I'd like to welcome you to the board! You've come to the right place.

As for your complaints I just want to be honest: given your descriptions and, even more so, the way you are writing about them, I think we are talking about an anxiety/obsessive disorder rather than about anything else. Everything you say points towards an anxiety/obsessive disorder that expresses itself in the form of dysautonomia (also know as autonomic dysfunction) and hence in BFS. Yulia already mentioned that. Just do a search for "dysautonomia" and you will find all your symptoms.

As for candidiasis, it does of course exist, but muppetdog is right in saying that the diagnosis has been abused a lot during the last years by chiropractors, naturopaths and proponents of "alternative medicine" to sell people their stuff. (the same is true, by the way, for "leaky gut syndrome": if you search the internet in german you will only find an affirmative account of it on the websites of so called "Heilpraktiker" (naturopaths), who offer very expensive therapies for it, whereas "normal" medical sites say that it is usually a "fad" diagnosis).

[SecretAgentMan]

I am troubled by the overly generalized statements in here dismissing LGS, candida, and alternative medicine. As a former full fledged BFS sufferer with first hand experience in all of these areas I can assure all of you that they are all indeed real, including the depth and breadth of the symptom list above. The reason the potential symptom list is so long is because of the very nature of candida over growth's influence on the functionality of the immune system. When the immune system is compromised anything in the body can be affected. Everyone has their own right to have their own opinion, but please do not pass judgment on an entire branch of medicine or a condition you do not fully understand. My first hand personal experiences with holistic doctors treating me for this resulted in success beyond my initial hopes. It was NOT costly either. They were in fact far cheaper than the mainstream doctors I started out with. It wasn't a scam. It wasn't a way to extort my life savings. It did in fact lead to me greatly improving my symptoms and overall health. Believe what you will but that is my 2 cents.

[ag2002]

Dennis,

BFS is a blanket term used for people with twitching muscles. It does not specify a cause. When I was looking for answers I tried everything in order to relieve my symptoms. I looked into candida and tried the diet(s). I tried all sorts of stuff. I was misdiagnosed with MS at one point. I truly believe my biggest problem was and is anxiety. When I was really bad I didn't feel anxious, but I was. It began after I injured my back and had all those stress hormones released from the pain. Then I started to have physical symptoms from the stress. Then I worried and worried about those symptoms. It just spiraled into symptoms->worry->stress->more symptoms->more worry->more stress... My personal experience is that stress and worry can affect the body tremendously. I had the palpitations, just like you did. I also had burning in both forearms, buzzing in different parts of my legs, twitching ( mainly in the calves), and insomnia. I was in denial that stress could actually cause all of these symptoms. I am a paramedic and I have seen plenty of people have panic attacks. But my anxiety didn't look like that. It has been over 2 years since my twitching started and I am still recovering. I do take Welbutrin and Klonopin (never went to a psychiatrist before BFS). However, I dramaticly changed my diet and my thought patterns. I could tell you what I eat, but what affects one person will not affect another. I juice everyday and read labels at the grocery store to know what I am putting into my body. There is no silver bullet for me. It is an overall lifestyle change and way of looking at the world. Here is a website that helped me and what my twitching looked like when it was bad. Hopefully they can help you. I twitch mildly in my calves still. It takes a while for your body to normalize. It took me years to get to the point that my body revolted and it is not going to go back to normal over night. It may take months or years. Hope you find healing. God bless.

Jerad

https://www.anxietycentre.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJZvpZVZQUQ

[Dennis_dw]

I went to the doctor yesterday.

He said that all of the symptoms that are listed above are vague, that it’s about every symptom there is. That they all could be from hyperventilation/stress/anxiety/BFS that it is hard to diagnose any of those conditions, that there are a lot of quacks that try to exploit it and claim to have a cure or therapy. That it is going to cost a lot of time and money and probably won’t help a thing. That it’s probably something I am just am going to have to learn to live with. That I could go and visit every type specialist there is. That an endocrinologist won’t be happy to see me if there is absolutely nothing wrong with my blood. So next Wednesday I need to take a sober blood analysis if something is out of the ordinary that I should go and see one. As for the candida he seriously doubts it, he says that I could take a colonoscopy but where will all of this end…

Too be honest I can live with the fasciculation’s its irritating but nothing more, the same goes for the muscle cramps and all the other little symptoms. But the heart palpitations and cramps make me paranoid even though a cardiologist said that my heart is perfectly fine and that it has been monitored a whole night while I was feeling them a few months back, I really want to know the source of this problem rather than taking Xanax or any other garbage. For the cramps I’m not even sure that it is even my heart.

If I think about it, it could be that I am under a little stress knowing that my contract at works ends the 10 of June. That I need to move out of my apartment one of these weeks to live with my mom. That I need to save every € because in a few months (probably January) I am leaving everything behind to go backpacking the other side of the world. Still I had these problems when I wasn’t under stress like: In the middle of a vacation, I also didn’t have them in the Christmas periods when things where crazy at work. Most people say that it is anxiety, hypochondria or an obsession with my heath that it is probably the way of my body saying that I am under pressure. And I wish I could believe them but it’s just too random, I can eat healthy for months and be in a low stress situation and still have it…

Sure if you see me explain it like this it looks like I have been going to a doctor every other week but knowing that all of that is in 2 years I wouldn’t call it an obsession. It’s just that I feel like everyone eighter thinks I am crazy or I’m making things up or want some attention or whatever. It’s frustrating if someone could just give me an answer I would leave it alone and move on.

[Dennis_dw]

Dennis,

BFS is a blanket term used for people with twitching muscles. It does not specify a cause. When I was looking for answers I tried everything in order to relieve my symptoms. I looked into candida and tried the diet(s). I tried all sorts of stuff. I was misdiagnosed with MS at one point. I truly believe my biggest problem was and is anxiety. When I was really bad I didn't feel anxious, but I was. It began after I injured my back and had all those stress hormones released from the pain. Then I started to have physical symptoms from the stress. Then I worried and worried about those symptoms. It just spiraled into symptoms->worry->stress->more symptoms->more worry->more stress... My personal experience is that stress and worry can affect the body tremendously. I had the palpitations, just like you did. I also had burning in both forearms, buzzing in different parts of my legs, twitching ( mainly in the calves), and insomnia. I was in denial that stress could actually cause all of these symptoms. I am a paramedic and I have seen plenty of people have panic attacks. But my anxiety didn't look like that. It has been over 2 years since my twitching started and I am still recovering. I do take Welbutrin and Klonopin (never went to a psychiatrist before BFS). However, I dramaticly changed my diet and my thought patterns. I could tell you what I eat, but what affects one person will not affect another. I juice everyday and read labels at the grocery store to know what I am putting into my body. There is no silver bullet for me. It is an overall lifestyle change and way of looking at the world. Here is a website that helped me and what my twitching looked like when it was bad. Hopefully they can help you. I twitch mildly in my calves still. It takes a while for your body to normalize. It took me years to get to the point that my body revolted and it is not going to go back to normal over night. It may take months or years. Hope you find healing. God bless.

Jerad

https://www.anxietycentre.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJZvpZVZQUQ

Thanks for the reply I do recognize a few off the things you say.

I know that stress can cause a lot of problems but I do a sales job where I work 36 hours a week. Most of them I do nothing but browsing 9gag on my smartphone, it’s one of the most boring jobs of all time and I don’t give a **** about anything work related. The only thing I do is being polite to the little customers I see. I have really cool colleagues and the customers say that I am really helpful and polite. To me that’s enough and what my boss thinks leaves me cold. They know my contract is running to its end and I have to go to another store every day, a lot of people tell me that that could be causing my stress but to be honest I don’t care at all. (Including my psychologist)

Apart from my job I am just enjoying life as much as I can, mostly I am a really relaxed person I think. The only times I am really stressed is the night before I go rock climbing and skydiving because it is an unnatural thing to do in my opinion. But the sense of achievement is so big afterwards that it feels like it’s something that I could use just to get away from the daily routine of life. It feels like I am trapped in a rubbish body that prevents me from doing the things I like!

Maybe I am also in denial about the stress part, but like I said before it doesn’t always come back in stressful periods and if you analyze everything there could always be something to be stressed about.